Paracultural Calendar for Feb 19

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1807*, former Vice President of the United States *Aaron
Burr* is arrested for treason in Wakefield, Alabama and confined to Fort
Stoddert.

***

On this day in *1878*, inventor *Thomas Alva Edison* patents the
*gramophone*, thus giving *Limp Bizkit* and *Celine Dion* an opportunity to
immeasurably enrich all our lives.

***

On this day in *1859*, *Daniel E. Sickles*, a New York Congressman, is
acquitted of murder on grounds of temporary insanity. This is the first
time this defense is successfully used in the United States.

***

On this day in the year *1945*, after getting stranded in a swamp during a
fierce battle, nearly *a thousand Japanese soldiers* are killed and eaten
by *crocodiles!* How messed up is that?!

***

On this day in *1949*, poet and literary titan *Ezra Pound* is awarded the
first Bollingen Prize in poetry by the Bollingen Foundation and Yale
University.

***

On this day in *1953*, Georgia approves the first literature censorship
board in the United States.

***

On this day in *1959*, the African nation of *Gabon* adopts a constitution.
Over time - despite being surrounded by nations jam-packed with
armed-to-the-teeth, cannibalistic nutters - Gabon has been relatively calm
and prosperous. One reason for this is that nobody seems to mind that the
same guy ran the place for over four decades, the humorously-moniker'd
monarch:*President Bongo! *Since his death, however, elections have
resulted in a small amount of rioting and a handful of deaths.

***

On this day in *1960*, cartoonist *Bil "one L" Keane*'s *Family Circus* debuts.
25 years later, on this day in *1985*, Coca-Cola introduces *Cherry Coke*.
Taken in sufficient quantities, either of these two sugary confections is
capable of killing a diabetic.

***

On this day in *1963*, the publication of *Betty Friedan*'s *The Feminine
Mystique* reawakens the Feminist Movement in the United States as women's
organizations and consciousness raising groups spread.

***

On this day in *1985*, *William J. Schroeder* becomes the first recipient
of an artificial heart to leave hospital.

***

On this day in *1986*, the United States Senate ratifies the United
Nations's anti-genocide convention, 37 years after the rest of the
civilized world. They had that pesky south-east Asian thing to get out of
the way before they could commit.

***

On this day in *1987*, actor *Yul Brenner* appears in an anti-smoking ad,
even though he died soon after filming it. "I'm dead now," the creepy PSA
decreed. "Don't smoke." In response to this proclamation by Pharaoh, *Charlton
Heston* put out a public service announcement of his own, in which he
declared: "You can have my cigarettes when you pluck them from my cold dead
lips!"
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