Paracultural Calendar for Feb 22

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1455*, inventor *Johannes Gutenberg* prints the first-ever
"mass produced" book: the *Holy Bible*. It immediately rockets to the top
of the bestseller charts.

***

On this day in the year *1630*, native Americans introduce malnourished
pilgrims to the delicacy we now call *popcorn* during a Thanksgiving feast.
The pilgrims show their appreciation for the natives' generosity by giving
them bibles, fire-water and smallpox-infested blankets.

***

On this day in *1821*, Spain sells a huge chunk of Florida to the United
States for $5 million bucks. In other words, they totally ripped us off!

***

On this day in *1651*, a storm surge floods Germany coast, drowning 15.000
people in what people call *St. Peter's Flood*.

***

On this day in *1879*, in Utica, New York, Frank Woolworth opens the first
of many of 5 and dime *Woolworth* stores.

***

On this day in *1945*, four US Marines create the "photo op of the century"
when they raise the flag on *Iwo Jima*.

***

On this day in *1973*, following President *Richard Nixon*'s visit to the
People's Republic of China, the two countries agree to establish liaison
offices. One year later, on this day in *1974*, *Samuel Byck* tries and
fails to assassinate Nixon.

***

On this day in *1980*, in Lake Placid, New York, the United States hockey
team defeats the Soviet Union hockey team 4-3 in a game that has been
dubbed the *Miracle on Ice*.

***

On this day in *1983*, the notorious Broadway flop *Moose Murders* opens
and closes on the same night at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre.

***

On this day in *1985*, the Senate confirms *Edwin Meese III* as *Ronald
Reagan*'s Attorney General. He is only marginally less puritanical, corrupt
and religiously insane than *Dubya*'s boy,*Jesus H. Ashcroft*.

***

On this day in *1994*, *Aldrich Ames* and his wife are charged by the
United States Department of Justice with spying for the Soviet Union.

***

Also on this day, in *1992*, *Kurt "Voice of a Generation" Cobain* and
*Courtney
"Fucked the Voice of a Generation" Love* get married, and live happily ever
after.

***

On this day in *1997*, scientists in Scotland announce the successful
cloning of *Dolly the Sheep*, the first mammal ever to be cloned from adult
cells. It was one small step for science, and a giant leap forward in the
Scottish plot to breed a race of sexually irresistible super-sheep.
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