Paracultural Calendar for July 18

[Mark Thibodeau]

 <http://likeawhisper.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/chap2-copy1.jpg>

On this day in *1870*, the First Vatican Council decrees the dogma of papal
infallibility. That means the Pope can never be wrong. Imagine that.

***

On this day in *1872*, Britain introduces voting by secret ballot. Up until
then, Brits had been using a complicated system that involved shaving
candidates' names into stray dogs, then hurling the mutts into the Thames,
where they were scooped up by raft-going hooligans who would call out the
results while Freemasons in full apron'd regalia wandered the docksides
recorded the tally. The hooligans would then kill, gut, cook and then eat
the dogs, saving the penis for the Queen, of course.

***

On this day in *1925*, some Austrian dude by the name of *Adolf
Hitler* publishes
his personal manifesto: *Mein Kampf*. It barely makes a dent on the Top 10
charts.

***

After being denied a permit to fly solo across the Atlantic, aviator *Douglas
Corrigan* changed his official flight plans, declaring his intent to fly
across America from New York to California instead. But mere minutes after
taking off, Corrigan - who claimed, with a wink and a smile, that his
compass was "busted" - doubled back and flew his plane to Ireland, earning
himself the nickname "Wrong Way." That's BALLS! He completed his solo
trans-Atlantic flight on this day in *1938*.

***

On this day in *1968*, Intel is founded in Santa Clara, California.

***

*Happy Chappaquiddick Day!* It was on this day in *1969* that Senator *Ted
Kennedy* gave the conservative movement a gift that keeps on giving when he
flipped an Oldsmobile off a wooden bridge, then swam ashore and spent the
night in a hotel, leaving his passenger - campaign volunteer and Kennedy
family friend *Mary Jo Kopechne* - to drown.

***

On this day in *1984*, sad sack loser-boy *James Oliver Huberty* walks into
a San Ysidro McDonalds and starts shooting at the walls of heart-ache,
bang, bang. By the time a police sniper's bullet ends his rampage, Huberty
had snuffed out 21 lives.
***

On this day in *2003*, NBA star *Kobe Bryant* is charged with anally raping
a 19-year old hotel employee, thus putting into motion a series of events
that would ultimately lead to the revitalization of several small Central
African nations' diamond industries.
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