Paracultural Calendar for June 15

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://www.cmt.com/sitewide/assets/img/shows/hee_haw/video_stills/heehaw099-x365.jpg>

On this day in *763 BC*, Assyrian astronomers record a solar eclipse that
is later used to fix the chronology of all Mesopotamian - and many other
peoples' - ancient history.

***

On this day in *1667*, the first human blood transfusion is administered by *Dr
Jean-Baptiste Denys*. I can't help but imagine that the process hurts like
the dickens.

***

On this day in *1752*, American living legend *Benjamin Franklin* proves
that lightning is made out of electricity. *Shazam!*

***

On this day in the year *1896*, Japanese followers of the Shinto religion
pick a really, *really* bad time to hold a beach party. As they pray and
chant and do whatever it is Shinto believers do, a giant tidal wave rises
up and crashes into the beach, *killing over twenty-seven thousand people* and
injuring nine thousand more. I don’t know about you folks, but if yer old
pal Jerky had survived such an event, he’d be giving some serious
consideration to switching religions.

***

On this day in *1924*, the nation's native Americans are officially
proclaimed citizens of the United States of America. And so we take a
moment to wish a very happy *Bitter Irony Day* to all our native friends!

***

On this day in *1944*, in the Saskatchewan general election, the CCF, led
by *Tommy Douglas*, is elected and forms the first socialist government in
North America. To this day, Douglas always scores high on lists of Canada's
"Favorite Canadians in History."

***

On this day in *1969*, CBS replaces the popular *Smothers Brothers Comedy
Hour* - which they cancelled for taking a stand against the Vietnam war -
with *Hee Haw*, featuring the hillbilly charms of *Roy Clark* and *Buck
Owens*. The nation's collective IQ drops a total of five points before the
first season is through.

***

On this day in *1978*, Jordan's *King Hussein* marries American hottie *Lisa
Halaby*, who takes the name *Queen Noor*.

***

On this day in *2005*, human political prop *Terri Schiavo*'s autopsy
results come in. After opening her up and having a look around, doctors
discovered that *1)* her cause of death was acute dehydration, 13 days
after having her feeding tube removed; *2)* there was no evidence
whatsoever that her husband was abusing her, as some of the freakier Jesus
Freaks in this debacle had alleged; and *3)* Terri had indeed lost more
than 50% brain volume during her fifteen years in a persistent vegetative
state.

***

On this day in *2008*, Lehman Brothers files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy,
triggering the 2008 financial crisis.
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