Paracalander for June 27 and 28...

[Mark Thibodeau]

June 27

On this day in 1844, Mormon founder Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum
are lynched (shot) by an angry mob outside a Carthage, Illinois
jailhouse. To this day, some believe that a man who tried to
decapitate the cult leader's corpse with a knife was prevented from
doing so by a lightning bolt, but yer old pal Jerky suspects that
story is bullshit.

***

On this day in 1971, after only three years in business, rock promoter
Bill Graham closes the Fillmore East in New York, New York, the
"Church of Rock and Roll", but no before Frank Zappa and the Mothers
record Fillmore East '71there! Iridescent Naugahyde, baby!

***

On this day in 1954, the CIA - using money, propaganda, weapons and
personnel - overthrows the democratically elected government of
Guatemala, installing some of the most profoundly evil fuckers in the
hemisphere in their stead.The Powers That Be consider this a great
moral victory.

***

On this day in 1990, author Salman Rushdie - condemned to death by
Iran's Ayatollah Khomeni for penning the "blasphemous" novel, The
Satanic Verses - contributes $8600 to help earthquake victims in Iran.
Unfortunately for Salman, Iran's leaders saw through his little
good-will ploy and refused to revoke the fatwah.

***

On this day in 1995, stammering sex symbol Hugh Grant and
street-walking cocksucker Divine Brown are arrested by the LAPD for
expressing their love for each other in the front seat of Grant's
white BMW.

***

On this day in 2001, people start saying some very disturbing things
about quasi-autistic, sexually ambiguous "comedienne" Paula Poundstone
when she's arrested for "lewd conduct with a minor". The media kept
discussing it until the terrorist attacks of 9/11, after which they
stop. Soon thereafter, she pleads guilty to a lesser charge, and the
details of her indictment are never disclosed to the public.

JUNE 28

On this day in 1820, brave colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson disproved the
myth that tomatoes are poisonous by eating a crate of them on the
courthouse steps in Salem, New Jersey. Today, the typical American
consumes about 80 pounds of tomatoes per year (true fact!) most of it
in "sauce" or "salsa" form.

***

On this day in the year 1914, Austria's Archduke Franz Ferdinand and
his wife, Sophia, are gunned down by a Serbian nationalist lunatic in
the middle of a busy street in Sarajevo, thereby starting a little
scrap the old-timers used to call World War One. That war would last
five years to the DAY, ending with the Treaty of Versailles, which was
signed in Paris on this day in 1919.

***

On this day in 1964, Malcolm X forms the Organization of Afro-American Unity.

***

On this day in 1969, the Stonewall Riots begin in New York City
marking the start of the Gay Rights Movement.

***

On this day in 1994, members of the Aum Shinrikyo cult release sarin
gas in Matsumoto, Japan. Seven people are killed and 660 injured. The
cult still exists, and it is now known as Aleph.

***

On this day in 1975, at the Western Open, golfer Lee Trevino is hit by
a bolt of lightning. I don't have a joke to go with this factoid, I
just enjoy thinking about golfers getting hit by lightning. PEE-OW!
Man, that must sting!
-
Pynchon-l / http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l