Paracultural Calendar for March 2

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *537*, the Ostrogoth army under king *Vitiges* began the
siege of the capital. Belisarius conducts a delaying action outside the
Flaminian Gate; he and a detachment of his bucellarii are almost cut off.

***

On this day in *1807*, Congress passes an act to "prohibit the importation
of slaves into any port or place within the jurisdiction of the United
States... from any foreign kingdom, place, or country." But not to worry;
with a self-sustaining population of over four million African slaves
already held as chattel in the South, they didn't need no new blood, no-how!

***

On this day in *1877*, a partisan Republican panel declares *Rutherford B.
Hayes* to be the winner of the previous year's election. This, despite his
having lost both the popular and, most likely, the electoral college vote,
to opponent *Samuel J. Tilden*, Democrat. After his inauguration as the
19th U.S. president, Hayes was coerced into undoing the work begun by *Abraham
Lincoln*. He caved in to Southern conservative demands that the military
withdraw from the region, effectively bringing Reconstruction to an end.
One by one, all the former Confederate (traitor) states began stripping
blacks of the right to vote, among other things. It would take nearly a
century for the Civil Rights movement to gain the strength required to
force the feds to once again address this chronic deficiency of the
Southern character.

***

On this day in *1882*, *Queen Victoria* narrowly escapes an assassination
attempt by *Roderick McLean* in Windsor.

***

On this day in *1904*, *Theodor Geisel* is born. Who the fuck is Theodor
Geisel, you ask? You folks probably remember him as the immortal *Dr Seuss*,
author of such kiddy classics as *Green Eggs and Ham* and *The Cat in the
Hat*. But yer old pal Jerky will always remember Geisel as the anonymous
author of the illustrated adult-oriented classics *Horton Hits a Whore*, *If
I Ran the Sex Zoo*, and *I am Curious, Oobleck*.

***

On this day in *1919*, the first Communist International meets in Moscow.

***

On this day in *1933*, the film *King Kong* opens at New York's Radio City
Music Hall.

***

On this day in *1962*, *Wilt Chamberlain* sets the single-game scoring
record in the National Basketball Association by scoring 100 points.

***

On this day in *1983*, Compact Discs and players are released for the first
time in the United States and other markets. They had previously been
available only in Japan.

***

On this day in *1990*, *Nelson Mandela* is elected deputy President of the
African National Congress.

***

On this day in *1993*, Branch Davidian cult leader *David Koresh* promises
to give himself up and allow authorities to enter his compound if the media
agrees to broadcast a one-hour audiotape of religious teachings he recorded
earlier that same morning. At 1:30 in the afternoon, at the behest of FBI
negotiators, the Christian Broadcasting Network plays the tape in its
entirety. At 5:58 PM, Koresh informs negotiators that God has ordered him
to wait a little while longer before coming out.
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