Paracultural Calendar for March 7

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *161*, Emperor *Antoninus Pius* dies and is succeeded by his
adoptive sons *Marcus Aurelius* and *Lucius Verus*.

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On this day in *1774*, British forces close the port of Boston to all
commerce. The resulting baked bean shortage leads to a marked increase in
the air quality of neighboring colonies.

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On this day in *1799*, *Napoleon Bonaparte* captures Jaffa in Palestine and
his troops proceed to kill more than 2,000 Albanian captives.

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On this day in *1876*, *Alexander Graham Bell *is granted a patent for an
invention he calls the telephone.

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On this day in *1900*, the German liner SS Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse
becomes the first ship to send wireless signals to shore.

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On this day in *1912*, *Roald Amundsen* announces that his expedition had
reached the South Pole on December 14, 1911.

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On this day in *1965*, a group of 600 civil rights marchers are forcefully
broken up in Selma, Alabama.

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On this day in *1985*, the song "We Are the World" receives its
international release.

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On this day in *1988*, one-handed pitcher *Jim Abbott* wins the 58th James
E Sullivan Award, which is given annually to the best one-handed player in
Major League Baseball.

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On this day in *1989*, Iran drops diplomatic relations with Britain
over *Salman
Rushdie*'s novel, *The Satanic Verses*. Britain doesn't much care, seeing
as their "relations" with Iran hadn't been very "diplomatic" for decades by
then.

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On this day in *1993*, Diff'rent Strokes actor *Todd Bridges* is arrested
for stabbing a tenant in the building where he worked as a superintendent.
A cyclical process of recovery/relapse ensues, and *Entertainment Tonight* is
there to squeeze every last iota of material from it.

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On this day in *1994*, African National Congress chief *Nelson Mandela* rejects
demand by white right-wingers that he establish a separate homeland for
them in South Africa. Meanwhile, in Liberia, *Charles Taylor* resigns as
President of of the African nation established by American whites for
African blacks who wanted to return to the Motherland after being freed
from slavery. There's a joke in there somewhere, but yer old pal Jerky
doesn't trust himself to tease it out without getting himself in trouble.

***

On this day in *1999*, death claims the mighty *Kubrick*.
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