Paracultural Calendar for March 15

Mark Thibodeau jerkyleboeuf at gmail.com
Sun Mar 15 16:22:36 CDT 2015


On this day in *44 BC*, *Julius Caesar*, Dictator of the Roman Republic, is
stabbed to death by *Marcus Junius Brutus*, *Gaius Cassius Longinus*, *Decimus
Junius Brutus* and several other Roman senators on the Ides of March.

***

On this day in *1493*, *Christopher Columbus* returns to Spain after his
first trip to the Americas.

***

On this day in *1820*, Maine becomes the 23rd state to be admitted into the
Union, and, having spent a considerable amount of time there, yer old pal
Jerky isn't quite sure how he feels about that. Maine is beautiful, but
it's also fuckin' creepy. Just look at their most important industries!
Potatoes, the only vegetable with eyes, so they can watch while you chop
them up; lobsters, which are uglier than most spiders, and which you boil
alive before eating; and *Stephen King* novels, which account for roughly
35% of Maine's economy. Speaking of which, most of Maine is poor as dirt,
but every summer, some areas are overrun by people so wealthy, nobody even
knows who they are. We're talking Old Money, here. Old, creepy money.
Thirteenth generation Slave Trade money. Lucky for the locals, most of
these behind-the-scenes Prime Movers vacate "Vacationland" before the
brutal North Atlantic winter sets in... and the *Wendigo* returns to feed.

***

On this day in *1906*, *Rolls-Royce Limited* is incorporated.

***

On this day in *1916*, President *Woodrow Wilson* sends 4,800 United States
troops over the U.S.-Mexico border to pursue *Pancho Villa*.

***

On this day in *1922*, after Egypt gains nominal independence from the
United Kingdom, *Fuad I *becomes King of Egypt.

***

On this day in *1961*, South Africa withdraws from the Commonwealth of
Nations.

***

On this day in *1964*, president *Lyndon Johnson* urges Americans to
wage a *War
on Poverty*. Unfortunately, it never happened, because all the weapons and
soldiers were tied up in Vietnam at the time.

***

On this day in *1965*, President *Lyndon B. Johnson*, responding to the
Selma crisis, tells U.S. Congress "We shall overcome" while advocating the
Voting Rights Act.

***

On this day in *1968*, LIFE Magazine calls *Jimi Hendrix* "the most
spectacular guitarist in the world." That his reputation survived the
adulation of such a square publication is a testament to the veracity of
that statement.

***

On this day in *1982*, actress *Theresa Saladana* is stabbed and stabbed
and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed by an obsessed
stalker. Not-so-ironically, it was the best thing that ever happened to her
career.

***

On this day in *1985*, the first Internet domain name is registered (
symbolics.com).

***

On this day in *2011*, the beginning of the Syrian civil war.
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