Paracultural Calendar for March 31

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *627*, *Muhammad* successfully withstands a siege for 27
days at Medina (Saudi Arabia) by Meccan forces under *Abu Sufyan*.

***

On this day in *1889*, the *Eiffel Tower* is officially opened.

***

On this day in *1903*, *Richard Pearse* allegedly makes a powered flight in
an early aircraft.

***

On this day in *1909*, the construction of the ill fated *RMS Titanic*
 begins.

***

On this day in *1918*, the very fabric of timespace is rent asunder when,
for the first time ever, *Daylight Savings Time* goes into effect in the
United States of America.

***

On this day in *1930*, the Motion Pictures Production Code is instituted
after a handful of sexless goons suffer nervous breakdowns at the
sight of *Tarzan
and Jane*'s severely foreshortened loincloths. Thus began a 40-year slump
in American cinema that wouldn't snap until... oh, about the time *Deep
Throat* was released.

***

On this day in *1958*, in the Canadian federal election, the Progressive
Conservatives, led by *John Diefenbaker*, win the largest percentage of
seats in Canadian history, with 208 seats of 265.

***

On this day in *1959*, the 14th Dalai Lama, *Tenzin Gyatso*, crosses the
border into India and is granted political asylum.

***

On this day in *1985*, the first *WrestleMania*, the biggest wrestling
event from the WWE (then the WWF), takes place in Madison Square Garden in
New York.

***

During this day's entire 24-hour span in the year *1988*, not a single
second of time elapses during which someone, somewhere, is NOT uttering
every indignant carnivore's most favorite catch-phrase:"Where's the beef?!"

***

On this day in *1991*, former Partridge Family bassist *Danny Bonaduce* gets
into a fist-fight with a transvestite prostitute in Phoenix. The next day,
when people asked about his broken nose and black eye, Bonaduce replies:
"You should see the other... individual."

***

On this day in *1993*, actor *Brandon Lee*, son of martial arts movie
legend *Bruce Lee*, is accidentally killed during the filming of *The Crow*.
Killer box office ensues.

***

On this day in *1995*, *Selena*, an American singer, was murdered by her
friend and employee of her boutiques Yolanda Saldívar who was embezzling
money from the establishments. The event was named "Black Friday" by
Hispanics.

***

On this day in *1996*, chaos erupts at the 25th annual Nabisco Dinah Shore
Golf Championship when winner *Patty Sheehan* refuses to French-kiss the
eye-sockets on Dinah's mummified, severed head, as tradition demands.

***

The women of Alabama could breathe a contented sigh of relief on this day
in *1999*, when a District Justice *Lynwood Smith* strikes down the
ridiculous Alabama law banning the sale of vibrators, dildos, penis
enlargers and other sex-oriented paraphernalia. Not that it mattered, any.
Everybody knows Alabama women have a history of using whatever's handy -
beer bottles, Lysol cans, fire extinguishers - whenever the itch strikes
their 'nethers.

***

On this day in *2004*, In Fallujah, Iraq, four American private military
contractors working for *Blackwater* USA, are killed after being ambushed.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://waste.org/pipermail/pynchon-l/attachments/20150331/0693c8a9/attachment.html>