Paracultural Calendar for May 19

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_CHO08A35gA/T7NKmwID9xI/AAAAAAAAAt0/SxNjDf-hK1k/s1600/dd05171780.jpg>New
England's Dark Day
On this day in *1536*, *Anne Boleyn*, the second wife of *Henry VIII*, is
beheaded for adultery, treason, and incest.

*****

On this day in the year *1780*, in the middle of the afternoon, New England
is plunged into almost total darkness. On the day in question, Connecticut
State Council wanted to adjourn so members could go home and prepare
for *Judgement
Day*, but councilor *Abraham Davenport* said: "I am against an adjournment.
The day of judgment is either approaching, or it is not. If it is not,
there is no cause of an adjournment: if it is, I choose to be found doing
my duty. I wish therefore that candles may be brought!" To this day, nobody
knows what happened... although I gotta figure it probably had something to
do with witches.

*****

On this day in *1943*, Nazi dictator *Adolph Hitler* declares the city of
Berlin to be *Judenrien*, or completely empty of Jewish people. At first,
the dictator is proud of his sinister achievement, but when he finds that
he can't get a decent smoked meat sandwich to save his life anymore... he
begins to secretly harbor regrets.

*****

On this day in *1953*, the Pentagon sets off a nuclear explosion on a
remote Nevada proving ground, but unexpectedly strong winds carry fall-out
all the way to the town of Saint George, Utah. Today, when looking back at
the ecological catastrophe, the plucky people of Saint George say: "No
sweat!" It's not that they don't mind that their government's lax safety
controls led to their town getting bathed in radiation. It's just that they
were born without sweat glands, and literally can't produce sweat.

*****

On this day in *1962*, a birthday salute to President *John F. Kennedy* takes
place at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The highlight is *Marilyn
Monroe*'s rendition of *Happy Birthday*, making the whole presidential
extramarital liaison thing just *a little too obvious*
<http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/celebrity/marilyn_monroe/6.html>
for
some folks' liking.

<http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.180503!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/alg-monroe-jfk-jpg.jpg>
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