Paracultural Calendar for Oct 13

[Mark Thibodeau]

<http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/db/Messier51_sRGB.jpg/1280px-Messier51_sRGB.jpg>

On this day in *1307*, hundreds of *Knights Templar* in France are
simultaneously arrested by agents of *Phillip the Fair*, to be later
tortured into a "confession" of heresy.

***

On this day in *1710*, Port Royal, the capital of French Acadia, falls in a
siege by British forces.

***

On this day in *1773*, the *Whirlpool Galaxy* is discovered by *Charles
Messier*.

***

On this day in *1917*, the *Virgin Mary* makes one final encore appearance
to those three little shepherd children near Fatima, Portugal. Despite
numerous requests from the 50,000 pilgrims who came just to see her, the *Holy
Mother of God*TM refuses to perform *Freebird*.

***

On this day in *1943*, the nation of Italy declares war on their former
Axis partners in Nazi Germany, proving conclusively that Italians are not
to be trusted.

***

On this day in *1987*, the *McClures* - a couple of teenage parents from
Midland, Texas - allow their 1-year-old baby,*Jessica*, to wander around
outside, unsupervised. After a short bask in the glow of her parents'
negligence, little Jessica fell down a well and got stuck. It took almost
three days and well over a million dollars' worth of equipment and
man-hours to rescue the little trouble-maker, as voyeuristic sofa spuds the
world over tuned in, hoping to catch a glimpse of Mom's grief-stricken face
when the rescuers pulled Jessica's little rag-doll corpse out of its cold,
wet grave. Unfortunately for these sick fucks, Jessica survived her ordeal,
and is no doubt shitting out a trouble-making brood of her own right about
now. Meanwhile, 13 years later, in an incredible coincidence, the *2010
Copiapó mining accident*in Copiapó, Chile, turns into a miracle after all
33 miners arrive at the surface after surviving a record 69 days
underground awaiting rescue. It's a good day for falling down a hole,
apparently.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://waste.org/pipermail/pynchon-l/attachments/20151013/35d88d27/attachment.html>