PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR SEPTEMBER 6

[David Casseres]

"Cosmic pussy-hair," now that's *language*!

On Fri, Sep 11, 2015 at 11:28 PM, Mark Thibodeau <jerkyleboeuf at gmail.com>
wrote:

>
>
> <http://discovery.cctv.com/20070301/images/1172733852505_Img248434702_r.jpg>
>
> On this day in *1901*, anti-statist anarchist *Leon Czolgosz* (pronounced:
> "Czolgosz") walks up to President *William McKinley* at Buffalo's
> Pan-American Exposition, extends his hanky-covered hand as if in offer to
> shake, then squeezes off two rounds at point blank range. When Secret
> Service agents grab Czolgosz and start beating the living snot out of him,
> gentlemanly McKinley looks up from his stretcher and declares: "Don't let
> them hurt him... Be easy with him, boys!" Eight days later, despite his
> hearty "recovery diet" of raw eggs and whiskey, the popular President dies
> of a kidney infection caused by the bullet that had ripped through his gut.
> His Vice President, the maverick*Teddy Roosevelt*, takes over in the
> first year of McKinley's second term. Two months after that, Czolgosz rides
> the lightning to a meeting with his maker. His last words: "I am not sorry
> for my crime."
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1966*, the science fiction show *Star Trek* makes its
> network television debut on NBC, giving thousands of obsessive, sexless,
> anal-retentive feebs a reason not to slit their wrists.
> ***
>
> On this day in the year *2000*, government authorities see fit to inform
> we plebes that asteroid *2000QW7 *had just hurtled within a cosmic
> pussy-hair of planet Earth... four days after the near-miss! Making matters
> worse, the Disneyland-sized space rock was first spotted by astronomers a
> mere SIX DAYS before it's passing! So... how close did we come to
> witnessing an end to civilization - or even perhaps an end to all LIFE as
> we know it? British scientist*Lembit Opik* - organizer of an
> international co-operative effort to counter the global threat posed by
> asteroids - answers that question thusly: "It is as if someone had thrown a
> marble at you across a tennis court and missed your head by the width of
> your hand."
>
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