3rd copy editing issue in Marguerite Young's Debs bio

[peterthooper at juno.com]

The first one I posted was just me questioning a phrase, so it didn't count.

The real first one was 2 sentences that should have been one.

The 2nd one was a run on sentence that should have been 2.

This one is an unnecessary "and".

"Joseph Smith had first become the robber bridegroom when he had fled with the love-smitten Emma Hale over the border to New York, where he had not abandoned her in a murky marshland nor drowned her in a lily-margined pool nor left her to find her own way back to her father as a villain might have done but had married her in the sight of God and the manifestation of law who appeared in the form of the man who tied the knot and where he had lustily, crowingly placed his little man in her virginal body, that which for a young man who in spite of his missing bones suffered from an overplus of vitality with its divine sparks and not the witherings of sterility in a desert land where no water was and must have seemed to him a cave hung with the most refulgent and yet taciturn, mysterious jewels where he had reigned supreme before he was born from immortality into mortality and to which he like many utopian dreamers and some who might be simple dreamers wished to return as to immortality. 

Beautiful sentence, night wahr?

But if, like von Clausewitz, we encircle a certain independent clause ---

...her virginal body, that which (for a young man, who in spite of his missing bones suffered from an overplus of vitality with its divine sparks and not the witherings of sterility in a desert land where no water was) and must have seemed to him...

So wait,
 "her virginal body,
 that which and must have seemed to him ..."

No, no, a thousand times no!
Out, d-mned "and"!

I've x-ed it out in my copy.


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