CoL49 Group Reading chapter 3, pg 31, 32

[Joseph Tracy]

> On May 30, 2024, at 4:45 AM, J K Van Nort via Pynchon-l <pynchon-l at waste.org> wrote:
> 
> Michael asks:-  sympathetic description of her husband’s infidelity. Like, extremely
> sympathetic
> 
> “It kept her from asking him any more questions. Like all their inabilities
> to communicate, this too had a virtuous motive”
Not so sure we are being asked to believe her part in ”their failure to communicate has a virtuous motive”. The failure is shared. Self centered patterns of behavior often go unchallenged to avoid the difficulties of honest communication. We never see Mucho shutting Oed down and though he clearly knows of Oed’s infidelity he does not and almost surely would not be accusatory or judgmental. Metzger on the other hand goes into an idiotic rant against do gooder's liberalism over her questions about the bones. She wants someone on her side, but it is not Mucho who has been asked for that or who has shut that down with ideological bullshit.  I see Mucho and Oed’s relationship as tragic rather than a one-sided failure, they are both confused and unsatisfied and needing a change. When they do begin to change and grow into new terrain, they fail to talk it out, ask questions try to understand each other. I do not see this as result of patriarchal dominance, but pain avoidance. It seems to me to speak of a more general atomization that has many causes and no easy solutions. Big divisions lead to small divisions. Already there is no mention of either partner’s parents, siblings, friends. This was not untypical of suburban life but a big change from most of human history.  Later in the novel OM has a dream of making love on a beach with Mucho. This is not a loveless relationship but a failing one and it is not so simple as the idea that Mucho is a male Jerk with no empathy for Oed or for others. 

 Oed is so good at asking questions and getting information from many people in pursuit of understanding and making responsible choices about some very troubling information that extends in many directions: PI- mob connections, Yoyodyne-right wing racist connections,  ancient and modern power struggles within communication media, ownership concentration of wealth in one person’s hands. She has learned to use her outward receptiveness and sympathy  to get at the truth. But sadly she cannot probe at, and seek a more open dialog with Mucho. And, sadly, she is not alone. 



> 
> i) other inabilities to communicate:
>   Letting him preemptively complain before telling about her day (patience
> is a virtue)
>   Not understanding his car lot angst but consoling anyway (kindness is a
> virtue)
>   Are there more?The communication between Oed and the men in her life points to being a vessel for the men to divulge themselves into. She is reception, and they can't/won't hear her. Her virtue for the men is her ability to listen while they complain, mansplain, etc. This leads to her heightened 'sensitivity' to new revelations and communications. This may also be part of the 'logic' of beginning with Metzger. Throughout chapter 2, Oed reveals heightened sensations, Metzger's warm thigh touching, her increasing lust for him, her awakening to 'getting laid', her breast touching his nose. Then she is also sensitized to revelation, printed circuit for real estate development. Again the tower of Babel comes up as part of this inability to communicate. She fits the role of the sympathetic housewife as vessel for her man's desires, complaints, jeremiads, etc.In solidarity,James