2 cups corn flakes
1 lb unflavored seitan
Cajun spice blend (2 tbsp?)
1/4 cup canola oil
Preheat oven to 400F. This will make your kitchen nice and warm like Louisiana.
Put corn flakes in a bowl. Resist urge to pour soy milk on them. Instead smash them! Pulverize them! Grind them into dust! Use the back of a spoon, or if you have one, a crystal ball of some sort works well.
Mix in the cajun spice blend. Throw in a a half teaspoon of salt if you like salt. Consider some extra cayenne. In my case, if it's not glowing red, I probably can't even taste it, so you're pretty much on your own for amounts.
Get out that seitan. Make some goofy Satan joke, you know you want to. Drain it, break it into smallish pieces, and squeeze it a bit in some paper towels to get a bit more of the liquid out.
Start heating up that skillet. You can turn off the oven, I was only kidding about that. Put the seitan and the corn flake powder in a plastic bag and shake it all around until everything is well covered. Try to be quick about it, otherwise your pan will get too hot.
[You know it's at the right temperature if you splash some water on it and it boils off rapidly, but doesn't skitter around the surface (too hot) or slowly steam off]
Pour your oil on and reduce heat to medium high. Spoon seitan chunks out of bag in a vain effort not to fry all the batter. Use a spatula or fancy pan-shaking technique to roll all the bits around and whatnot. Note to self: don't burn 'em by running off to check your email next time, freak. If you cook them too long, they'll get all dry. Bleah.
Paper towels are good at this point for soaking up some of the oil. Add some fresh-ground black pepper (don't even bother if you don't have a pepper grinder) and shake on some more cajun seasoning. Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Serve with mashed potatoes or something, anything but coleslaw.