Kids say the darnedest things

[William Karlin]

 This may not not be the most relevent item to appear on the hallowed
'p-list' but it made me smile...so hear's to brightening your days a bit

will

>    "Kids say the darnedest things"
>      Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because 
>      they keep journals of amusing things their students have 
>      written in papers.  Here are a few examples:
>      
>      - The future of "I give" is "I take."
>      
>      - The parts of speech are lungs and air.
>      
>      - The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
>      
>      - A census taker is man who goes from house to house 
>      increasing the population.
>      
>      - Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin 
>      is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
>      
>      - (Define H2O and CO2.)  H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold 
>      water.
>      
>      - A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has 
>      never set foot.
>      
>      - The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
>      
>      - A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water 
>      then forcing it through an aviator.
>      
>      - Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
>      
>      - The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 
>      opossums.
>      
>      - The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits 
>      on the top and you sit on the bottom.
>      
>      - We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because 
>      we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives 
>      more silk.
>      
>      - One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
>      
>      - A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects 
>      all duly constipated authorities.
>      
>      - One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
>      
>      - To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the 
>      nose until it drips into the throat.
>      
>      - The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>      
>      - The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
>      
>      - Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were 
>      deeply religious feelings.
>      
>      - The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is 
>      singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
>      
>      - Syntax is all the money collected at the church from 
>      sinners.
>      
>      - The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one 
>      leg and up the other.
>      
>      - In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
>      
>      - Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
>      
>      - In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to 
>      Utah.
>      
>      - A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so 
>      often in the winter.
>