it was I, Cock Robin...

[ckaratnytsky at nypl.org]

     Foax--
     
     Please forgive the list space taken up by the following, but some sort 
     of public reckoning is required in this circumstance, though it 
     involves behind-the-scenes events.
     
     To my dismay, I have been made an unwilling accomplice in the on-going 
     pissing contest between Jeffrey and davemarc.  [Delete now if you are 
     as sick of this as I am.]  To wit:  It was I who shared with Steely 
     some of the story of the NY P-list's meeting with Chrissie and Faera 
     -- specifically, davemarc, the information about your tape recorder.
     
     As I recall the evening, it was not until after everyone had said 
     their good-byes and we were on our way to the bus stop that you took 
     the recorder from your coat pocket.  I was so naively dumbfounded by 
     this revelation that I'm sure I had no discernible reaction.  (I know 
     I didn't *say* anything about it.)  Even though I had gone on record 
     for an interview the night before and even though the same journalist 
     had been scheduled to attend *our* event, it had not occurred to me that 
     the mtg would be anything but casual, as far as the P-listers were 
     concerned.  The news that you *hadn't* been taping was incidental to 
     the notion that you *might* have been taping.
     
     I recounted some of the evening's events to other people, some of them 
     from this list, partly to share my impressions and partly to get a 
     reality check on the recorder.  One of the people I mentioned it to 
     was Jeff:  We had established a certain rapport and level of trust, or 
     so I thought, after exchanging some PRIVATE mail (remember privacy, 
     Jeffrey?), though it can now only seem to all concerned that I was 
     playing both ends against the middle.  The truth is that this PERSONAL 
     correspondence (remember personal, Jeffrey?) and our developing 
     friendship was a wholly organic outcome of the Tragedy of the Commons 
     dance we did just before Christmas.  So you see, davemarc, where the 
     pieces fit:  Steely made a convenience of me to take a cheap shot at 
     you.
     
     Jeff tells me that I never told him that the information about your 
     tape recorder was in confidence.  To me this is the inherent and 
     essential nature of private mail, meta-chitchat, sub rosa intelligence 
     -- call it what you will.  But, OK, Jeff, have it your way.  You wanna 
     get tough with me?  You wanna make Chris do the time since she's done 
     the crime?  OK, here it is, my best shot:  All of my private mail to 
     you is to be held in the strictest confidence.  GOT THAT?  Fear no 
     spells, no airborne viruses, no reprisals, no black riders even.  Big 
     fuckin' deal, right, Jeff?  There's nothing I can do to you to make 
     you behave any better than your conscience dictates, but you should 
     have been operating under this principal with me all along.  Listen:  
     You've hurt me, you've made me look bad in public and you've put me in 
     the very awkward position of appearing to be telling tales out of 
     school.  Don't do this to me again.
     
     I like you, Jeffrey, and I even agree with your position re all things 
     Spielberg, but I'm not interested in taking part in this increasingly 
     disreputable little skirmish.  I realize that I run the risk of being 
     perceived as a spineless proponent of situational ethics, but such 
     is not the case.  I agree in theory and in practice that the personal 
     is political -- nevertheless, that's not what I want my experience of 
     this list to be, generally speaking.  I had been reserving judgment 
     about the tape recorder until I got to know davemarc better.  That's 
     why I hadn't said anything about it except in private.  Piss off, 
     Jeffrey, if that's not grand enough of a moral stand.  
     
     davemarc, I hope you can forgive what must seem a violation of the 
     spirit of a...developing friendship.  I'm sorry.  I had and have no 
     wish to be unkind to you or to anyone.  Restocking Jeffrey's ammunition was
     never my intention. 
     
     Chris