Graceful Passage

[jporter]

Several days ago my Great Aunt: Grace, passed away. She was 106 years, 11
months old. Being born in 1893, if she had made the year 2000, she would
have lived in three different centuries. But alas, she died on her own
schedule, on her own terms. Lucid to the last, one morning she just didn't
wake up.

It was the inconvenience of it all that first caught me off guard: work &
holiday craziness in full gyre- the matriarch passing- schedules to juggle,
changing plans at the last minute. Death can be so inconvenient. Emily
Dickinson got it right.

It was only later that I recognized how silly and unimportant, by
comparison,  all my busy-ness had been. The funeral became a celebration.
Grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, sibs, friends and fellow
travelers, Grace's tent was large- all of us younger than her. That has to
be some kind of measure of a successful life, no, to be the oldest one at
your own funeral? She never had kids but she was always involved. In fact,
that made her even more of the matriarch. Several cousins from various
branches and different generations, found refuge with Grace, long enough to
work out some kind of angst or alienation, then back out- on their feet and
on their way. She was a great tree in the midst of the family.

Her passing has tamed the usual stress of the holidays for me. Always known
for an even temper, I can't remember an angry word, or even a grimace. She
was already twenty-seven by the beginning of the Roaring Twenties, and I'm
told that she was genuinely an unflappable flapper. She enjoyed Life
(...and chocolate cakes, martinis, men) but she was placid and good
natured. The best friend of George C. Scott's mother-in-law, she spent many
weekends with Scott and his wife in Greenwich, Conn, and would always
delight in recounting their fun, and we would delight in listening.

None of us cried. She looked great- just another nap- the twentieth century
an olive in her glass.

The funeral party was amazingly refreshing, too, a welcome break from the
stress of the season. The family, not unknown for its share of trolls,
sleeze-bags and ne'er-do-wells, seemed handsome. Everyone fit. Friends,
many odd or crooked, seemed to glow. There seemed to be no contradictions.
We were all aligned in her field.

Grace is gone, and it's back to the grindstone, but not without a lighter
heart.


I hope each of you may take a few moments away from the important task of
ferreting out the evil and decoding the moral messages in GR, this season,
and enjoy your friends and family. The P-list is here if you have the urge.
We're paying attention. I, of course, am especially heartened by those of
you who identify and celebrate the human qualities of each of the
characters, but whatever your bent, I enjoy reading your posts.

Happy Holidays,

jody