Pynchon mention

[Doug Millison]

Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2000 02:40:37 -0700
To: bellsf at sirius.com
From: Bruce Bellingham <bellsf at sirius.com>
Subject: WHO WANTS TO MARRY AN IMPOVERISHED WRITER?
Status:  U

	With a heavy heart I must report that the age of arranged
television marriages is over. For the time being, anyway.
	Fox TV has canceled the much discussed, much celebrated and much
maligned program called "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" This
following charges the rich man in question beat up a former girlfriend,
prompting her to get a restraining order to keep him away.
	Fox decided that in order to rerun the show, they'd have to change
the name to "Who Wants to Marry an Allegedly Abusive Multi-Millionaire?"
and that's simply too long.
	At the conclusion of the broadcast last week, the lucky gal --
ironically an emergency room nurse -- married the chap, a businessman from
San Diego. He insisted on a pre-nuptial agreement. She insisted on taking
her first-aid kit on the honeymoon.
	Ironic, too, this show is aired as a debate rages over what is or
what isn't a sanctified marriage. This sexual turkey shoot held
mass-popular appeal while people of a certain proclivity are villified for
their expression of devotion to each other. Susan Faludi observed, "We're a
society without a culture." I think we're a society without a soul.
	I didn't plan on watching this millionaire sideshow -- hadn't heard
of it. But, as I sat alone in a pizzeria here in the Marina District, the
television attached to the ceiling was the only thing to look at. Fifty,
comely, young women vying for a man they have never seen. Just because he's
apparently rich -- even that's unclear. I don't recall seeing anything
quite as bizarre. It's up there with Monica Lewinsky's commercials for
Jenny Craig: "It's not what you eat, it's what you swallow..."
	 It's amazing how two hours of air time can set the women's
movement back fifty years.
	"We've made television history," a Fox executive crowed.
"Television history": How's that for a working oxymoron?
	This era of television history seems devoted to the revival of quiz
shows. It's perfect for our time: the worship of wealth.
	In the film, "Quiz Show," Martin Scorsese plays a network
executive. He sums up the social phenomenon perfectly in the wake of the
Charles Van Doren scandal on the program, "21."
	"People don't care about the game. They just want to watch the money."
	In all honesty, I felt a certain pang of envy -- alone in the pizza
joint, watching the ladies answer questions that presumably reveal their
inner character. Naturally, it was multiple choice. All of those beauties,
offering themselves as in an ancient ceremony of sacrifice. In this case,
virginity  wasn't mentioned. Do you remember the old bit with Carol Burnett
as an Indian princess? Harvey Korman: "Now it's time for purity test."
	That would have been amusing.
	I couldn't help but fantasize about how a TV program might include
beautiful gals who want to marry a poor artist: "Who Wants to Marry a
Multi-Talented But Penurious Writer?" I'll bet there'd be a crush of
contestants -- all dripping with integrity. The Fox Web Site would crash
all over again.
	After the quiz on Pre-Raphaelite poetry that would eliminate a good
portion of the hopefuls, we'd move on to the personal question segment --
the one that scrutinizes character and compatability. For example:
	Q: How would you handle the many phone calls from your husband's
creditors?
	Q: Would you conceal a secret penchant for reading romance novels
from your husband?
	Q: Would you mind shoplifting all of your Christmas presents?
	Q: Would you tell your husband you admire Thomas Pynchon, even
though you think he plays for the Dallas Cowboys?
	Q: How would you feel about living on ketchup sandwiches until your
husband makes it to the New York Times Best-Seller List?
	I think I'll go right to the top and suggest to Fox chief Rupert
Murdoch -- that great social architect -- that this show simply can't lose.
	Sure. No wonder I'm alone in this pizzeria.


	      By the Bay, Bellingham, February 23, 2000


Bruce Bellingham
2010 Chestnut Street #206
San Francisco 94123
phone: (415) 921-8148
e-mail: bellsf at sirius.com





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