SHROUD
Doug Millison
DMillison at ftmg.net
Tue May 29 13:40:25 CDT 2001
February 11, 2016
Nanotubetops Enable XXXFL
MIAMI--Recently released details concerning Fox Studio's planned May launch
of the XXXFL confirms that players will be outfitted with high-tech, mesh
nanotube uniforms designed by Fox Labs scientists in collaboration with
researchers at IBM and Stanford University. "We're very excited about the
XXXFL and about the innovative technology that will make it the hottest new
sport since Survivor," explains Fox Sports Programming VP Jerry Reale.
"These new uniforms offer superior injury-protection to the players and
still let us bring you the first all nude full-contact sport. This is
another perfect example of cutting-edge technology enabling great TV."
Constructed of bundled and twisted-pair carbon nanotube fibers, the
uniforms are the first to realize the promise of years of applied
"nanogarment" research. "I pioneered the whole field of nanogarments years
ago with a simple goal," notes Stanford Professor of Nanoscience Lars Figgs,
"I simply wanted to design the skimpiest garment possible. After some early
missteps, I had a paradigm-shaking realization. Rather than enhancing
skimpiness by minimizing coverage, I could, instead, engineer garments that
covered most of the body but which were made of a nano-scale mesh
effectively invisible to the human eye. Nano-mesh garments both maximize
exposure and, when tailored, offer superior body-sculpting support."
The invisible mesh of the XXXFL nanogarment uniforms protects
players from injury during the games' rambunctious "downs" by exploiting the
superior strength of carbon nanotube fibers, engineered versions of which
enjoy nearly 1000 times the strength of steel at one tenth the weight.
"Because the XXXFL is a full-contact, co-ed sport, we were looking for an
equipment solution which would offer some equalizing protection to our
smaller players," explains Fox's Reale. "The piezoelectric joints and seams
absorb tackling impact, reducing the advantage of brute force. And, the
push-up tubetops and codpieces make sure the players always look hot."
The uniforms have also been designed to take advantage of some of
the semi-conducting properties of nanotubes. Powered by piezoelectric
"buckyball-and-joint" nodes, the uniforms act as wireless, wearable
computers, offering full player motion-capture and high-resolution
impact-capture. "By the end of this first season, or, at the latest, the
beginning of the next, we'll release full-contact immersion uniforms for
home viewers under the 'NakedI' label," notes Reale. "Through Fox, you'll
be able to subscribe to your favorite players, and, once you're online,
we'll send the impact data to you realtime. When Rod Steele or Lily Lush
get tackled, you'll feel it at home just the way they do on the field."
The XXXFL uniforms also implement nanotube based Field Emission
Displays (FED) that emit colored light in response to impact and body heat.
"When players are hit, you'll see kaleidoscopes of color dance across our
bodies," explains a uniform-demonstrating player from the Miami Goo
Fighters. "When we're injured or flushed, you'll see that too."
Responding to critics, Fox's Reale is quick to point to the history
of sport for precedent: "Some people have said that the XXXFL is
exploitative and that it's not a real sport, but look at the Olympics.
Classically, Olympians competed in the nude. Sports is a celebration of the
human body, and that's what the XXXFL is too."
The XXXFL season is scheduled to begin May 15 when the Tennessee T&A
play the Dallas Drillers in Enron Arena.
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