NP Hemingway, rain, death (I've got some notes...)

[Mark Wright AIA]

Howdy
Glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbors...

---  <platypus91 at excite.com> wrote:

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?> 
THOMAS PYNCHON
> The road ("Autobahn" would be more threatening...) lay ahead; barren
(and very very?) desolate. The chicken pondered (perhaps "thought
about"?) her fate (perhaps "the Plate"?)
> Would the Car (perhaps "Auto" echoing Autobahn, see my suggestion
above) be there again, lurking in the darkness (How about just plain
lurking? Why darkness?) What boundless
> consciousness (did you consider "capricious wicked sprite"?)
propelled her to this road, again and again and again? (You are running
on here...)
> Was it the workings of some mad conspiracy; perhaps the Colonel's
> work? Or was it blind, egoless fate, leading her to her final,
> probably flat fate? (I love the repetitive beat of workings/work and
fate/flat fate!!! Play this up!)  She shook: a final thought of the
eggs that were
> her pride...cracked. The rooster that had been her life...cooked.
> Nothing left to lose. (Sentence fragments?!!) Nothing to gain but
perhaps the knowledge of
> what lay on the Other Side ("where the glass is always gleaner?).

Just a few notes, I hope you don't think I've gone overboard. I can't
wait to read your next draft! This is babulous work, really! What do
you say we pitch this to Miramax? I had a *thing* with the receptionist
once, so we could get an appointment in a snap. Just say the word! You
just *know* the merchandising tie-ins will be monsta!
Ciao,
Mark

PS: On second thought keep "darkness". We'll get Svig as
cinematographer to work with Cameron, and they'll do wonders with the
headlights and rain. It should be raining for sure.

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