NP: London in 2007

[Joe Allonby]

Thank you for the best answers so far!

On 12/22/06, Nick Halliwell <nick.halliwell at btclick.com> wrote:
>
>  See below for my (daft) ha'porth.
>
>
>
> Nick
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> *From:* owner-pynchon-l at waste.org [mailto:owner-pynchon-l at waste.org] *On
> Behalf Of *Joe Allonby
> *Sent:* 21 December 2006 18:27
> *To:* Tim Strzechowski
> *Cc:* Pynchon-L
> *Subject:* Re: NP: London in 2007
>
>
>
> I have some questions.
>
>
>
> Don't we all?
>
>
>
> Why are London subway (Tube, Underground, whatever you call it) so
> fricking small? I felt like my shoulders were going to punch through the
> sloped ceiling.
>
>
>
> As a result of all that hiding from bombs during World War II (V1s, V2s,
> regular bombs, I believe *Gravity's Rainbow* deals with this), all
> Londoners walk with a permanent stoop. Oh and the London Underground system
> was built in the 19th century and everyone was smaller then and we had an
> Empire on which the sun would never set (a metaphor asking for trouble given
> that, as a general rule, the sun WILL insist on setting). I think they're
> still using the same trains – both of 'em. That's why it's so expensive:
> you're paying for heritage as well as locomotion.
>
>
>
> In contrast, why are the taxicabs so gigantic? Truly colossal crossed with
> staggeringly huge is the concept I'm trying to get across here. The taxi
> drivers seem to have phd's in local geography. My companion described the
> interior of a pub that she had been in once to a cabbie. He took us right
> there. Impressive.
>
>
>
> Because the cabbies have large families who live in the cabs (come on,
> have you ever seen any of them open the boot?) Actually the thing about
> London cabbies and their encyclopaedic knowledge of the capital is true.
> In order to drive a licensed black cab (yes Joe, that's the big ones),
> prospective drivers actually have to pass a test called "The Knowledge<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Knowledge#The_Knowledge>".
> And given the sheer area covered by London (most European cities build
> upwards, we build outwards, I mean, who wants all those fields anyway, just
> build a couple of parks and that'll cover it…) this is one hell of a test.
>
>
>
> Why does all the music suck? Seriously. On this side of the pond, we hear
> great British music all the time. Apparently, English people don't listen to
> it. Every club, pub, and radio station seems to play either horrible house
> music or the worst prepackaged pretty people pop imaginable.
>
>
>
> This is how great music is often made. People get so fed up with hearing
> the pre-packaged pretty people pop (nice alliteration!) you mention that
> they go off and make a horrible racket of their own. I'm all in favour of
> the horrible racket, myself.
>
>
>
> What the hell is in this absinthe shit? It's great! Your hashish on the
> other hand does absolutely nothing.
>
>
>
> Absinthe is often associated with French Romantic poets such as Verlaine
> (Paul, not Tom) and Rimbaud. I think the stuff sold nowadays is fairly mild
> by comparison. i.e. it blows your head off but will often leave it rolling
> around the same room as opposed to the 19th century stuff which blew it
> over the Alps into Switzerland. I don't think we actually produce a great
> deal of hashish as we don't really have the climate for it. Bit of grass
> here and there, but mostly we import. If you are not completely satisfied
> you should contact your local Trading Standards office.
>
>
>
> Royal family? Huh? Why are these people on the payroll? On the other hand
> it might be a usefull way of neutralizing ambitious morons. If only George
> Bush or Ronald Reagan had just been King, with no real power whatsoever,
> things would be better. We could dress them up and send them to parties and
> stuff and be all proud of them. Then they couldn't actually do anything. If
> you're going to have a bullshit figurehead, why not go for broke? Another
> day, another cavalcade of bullshit. I think I've answered my own question.
> It sounds like a great idea.
>
>
>
> Woah… hang on just a moment there… Are you saying George W. Bush isn't
> your King? You've given a bloke like that actual EXECUTIVE power? But no,
> that can't be right… his father was King, wasn't he? And isn't his brother
> Prince of Florida or somewhere? Sounds pretty much the same to me.
>
>
>
> Hand-pumped bitters are among the best beers in the world. Why are the
> young people drinking Budweiser?
>
>
>
> Please feel free to take the Budweiser back home with you when you go… Oh
> and tell them to stop making those bloody irritating adverts. But you're
> right, you can't beat a really good bitter, especially local ones made by
> small breweries. But I'm probably prejudiced as my father was born on
> licensed premises (he often remarks that he has rarely left since then) in
> Burton-On-Trent, a town built on beer – well, not literally, obviously, or
> it'd require a hell of a lot of yeast to stop it sinking – and his forebears
> were coopers. So my blood is actually 22.5% bitter. Oh all right, it's
> 100% bitter. I'm a bitter man.
>
>
>
> And what's with this freehouse vs proprietary pub thing? Which one is
> really the politically correct establishment to frequent? Am I not
> supporting the unions if I avoid the brewery-owned pubs in favor of the
> independent small businessmen of the free house? I'm confused. To cover my
> bases, I tried to hit them all.
>
>
>
> Very wise of you. But no unions are involved to any great extent either
> way. Freehouses sometimes have a more interesting selection of beers because
> they're not tied to a particular brewery. On the whole I'd suggest
> supporting them or they'll simply disappear and you'll no longer have the
> choice.
>
>
>
> You can actually buy things larger than a newspaper with coins? And get
> change back?
>
>
>
> You can if you order them over the Internet from the US at the moment,
> yes.
>
>
>
> The beer's great, but what's up with the food?
>
>
>
> What are you, French?
>
>
>
> Do you know where I can get a bottle of Glenmorangie Millennium Malt?
>
>
>
> Yes, try Scotland, they should still have some left. As with so many
> things, Scotch whisky ("whiskey" is the Irish variety) is a very personal
> thing. My own favourite single malt is Ardbeg, especially the old kind (I've
> still got a little of a 17-year-old I bought a few years back, rumoured
> actually to be considerably older when I bought it). But yes, I'm fond of a
> dram of Laphroaig too, Talisker (from the Isle of Skye), Caol Ila… I
> suppose I generally prefer the Islay malts but I have a reasonable
> collection from various parts of Scotland and her islands.
>
>
>
> Why can't I buy a turkey?
>
>
>
> Because it's Christmas and they've all gone.
>
>
>
> I'm sure that I'll have more.
>
>
>
> I'm sure you will.
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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