AtDDtA(15): There's a Million Uses for Smegmo!

[Mark Kohut]

quick memory, unchecked, re GR.......remember TRP says "1904, the year they took
  the cocaine out of Coke"......
   
  then shortly later, he says something like Coke created a generation of alcoholics and addicts (?) for WW2............???
   
  smegmo.....created a modern world of processed food addicts, so to speak??

Dave Monroe <against.the.dave at gmail.com> wrote:
  "'Goes with everything!' advised a student at a nearby table.
'Stir it in your soup, spread it on your bread, mash it into your
turnips! My dorm-mates comb their hair with it! There's a million
uses for Smegmo!'" (AtD, Pt. II, p. 408)


"the patriotically colored Smegmo crock"

http://www.pepsi.com/home.php


"Goes with everything"

Cf Al Capp's Shmoos?

"a million uses for Smegmo!"

Tracing out just one parallel: Coke—foundation of the Candler fortune
and the Emory U. endowment—is a beverage, a sweetener and flavoring
agent (Coca-Cola Cake a Southern favorite), a solvent (best thing for
removing bugs from windshields) and a cleanser (MythBuster-tested for
polishing automotive chrome). In an emergency you can fill your
radiator with it, and used with care it will raise bread dough.

Tracing out another parallel: Crisco, not only the first but also
emblematic of all synthetic shortenings, is "ubiquitous in the cuisine
and among the table condiments..." It is found in baked products
(breads, cakes, muffins, etc.), salad dressings, soups, potato chips,
mayonnaise, cheese spreads, peanut butter, cake and biscuit mixes.
Raisins are sometimes coated with it. You will find them in most
processed foods.

http://against-the-day.pynchonwiki.com/wiki/index.php?title=ATD_397-428#Page_408

[ open on suburban kitchen, Wife and Husband arguing ]
Wife: New Shimmer is a floor wax!
Husband: No, new Shimmer is a dessert topping!
Wife: It's a floor wax!
Husband: It's a dessert topping!
Wife: It's a floor wax, I'm telling you!
Husband: It's a dessert topping, you cow!
Spokesman: [ enters quickly ] Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you two. New
Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! Here, I'll spray
some on your mop ... [ sprays Shimmer onto mop ] ... and some on your
butterscotch pudding. [ sprays Shimmer onto pudding ]
[ Husband eats while Wife mops ]
Husband: Mmmmm, tastes terrific!
Wife: And just look at that shine! But will it last?
Spokesman: Hey, outlasts every other leading floor wax, 2 to 1. It's
durable, and it's scuff-resistant.
Husband: And it's delicious!
Spokesman: Sure is! Perks up anything from an ice cream sundae to a pumpkin pie!
Wife: Made from an exclusive non-yellowing formula.
Husband: I haven't even touched my pudding and I'm ready for more!
Wife: But what about black heel marks?
Spokesman: Dirt, grime, even black heel marks, wipe clean with a damp mop.
[ Husband accidentally sprays Shimmer onto the floor ]
Husband: Oh, sorry, honey, I'll clean that up!
Wife: Oh, no problem, sweetheart, not with new Shimmer!
[ Spokesman laughs continuously as he approaches the camera ]
Spokesman: New Shimmer, for the greatest shine you ever tasted!
[ fade ]

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75ishimmer.phtml



       
---------------------------------
Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.
Visit the Yahoo! Auto Green Center.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://waste.org/pipermail/pynchon-l/attachments/20070806/89e2522d/attachment-0001.html>