ATDTDA: Lake

[bekah]

Oh dear.   Now see what I've done with myself this Memorial Day.

I was feeling some sort of serious draw to investigate Lake so as  to 
overcome my initial instinctive dislike  (revulsion?) and see what's 
going on inside,  so I took a look at her presence in the whole of 
AtD.    I wanted to empathize or at least to understand on a more 
human level.     Bear with me,   I think I've come to a conclusion 
which satisfies me but she's not fully drawn until much later in the 
book (pgs 472+) and then there is the follow-up at the end.     Fwiw, 
Lake may be the most complex of Pynchon's characters I've ever come 
across.


My conclusion,  to cut to the chase,  is that when Lake falls "in 
loove, " she also falls from "grace" to  a place from which  she 
cannot pay attention to her instincts.   And she sticks with him 
because of the overwhelming bonds from cultural, emotional,  physical 
and perhaps fated sources.     She's in total denial about Deuce's 
involvement with the death of her father until one day the "earth 
opens up."   Then she goes into rationalization and more denial, 
they don't really talk about it,  but one more time there's a 
'wake-up call'  (in today's parlance)  and she again becomes  more 
aware,  then she goes back to the only life she knows after which, 
finally ...  and   then ...   (No spoiler from me but this one is a 
doozy and I - pardon me,  loved it, although not her, too much.)

This is how I got there:
  (These comments are about Lake only,  there's a lot more going on on 
these pages.)
(quotes are in quote marks,  my comments are **'d.  -  the spoiler 
section is noted.)



**  Lake grew up a little wild,  child of the storm,  rebellious. 
It's not in her nature to be the demure sweet thing who is offended 
by bad language or manners.   Probably because of Webb,  but also 
because it's in her genes,  she's attracted to the wild side and the 
bad boys.   She feuds big time with Webb,  he accuses her of things 
and then  and he kicks her out of the house.  She hates her father 
and this contributes a lot to her difficulties.

Page 261
** Lake  and Mayva are working in the cafe where she meets Deuce who 
has already  killed her father not too long ago.   Lake has no idea 
who he is or what he did but she's drawn to him in a way that she has 
been drawn to no one else in her life.  The physical, emotional and 
fated connection is tangible.

262:
"Like an old memory, older than herself, something that'd happened 
before, that she knew now she'd have to go through again ... And the 
way he was looking at her - 'knowing look,' worse than the most 
cocksure good-for-nothing that ever came her way, the assumptions 
being made, not just by him either,  but by something  'outside 
them.'  Had to be the altitude."


** Mayva warns her about her flirting with the bad boys,  but fate 
and genes and even reincarnation (?) is involved in addition to the 
physical and emotional:

"Women could protest from now till piss flowed uphill, but the truth 
was, there wasn't one didn't secretly love a killer."

**  Is this Deuce thinking (?)   Seems to be a Pynchon theme re some 
women (with many notable exceptions!) .   And maybe at some level 
there is some part of many women who are drawn to the really bad 
guys.   We see women lining up for the murderers on death row.  The 
word "killer" seems to have a romance attached to it (in the US 
anyway) which implies  a foolish risk-taking toughness and machismo. 
Just my o, but the word "killer" seems to go beyond "murderer"  to 
mean  something more akin to murdering someone dangerous and using 
physical force to do it (no poisoning of children here).  -

This draw women seem to feel toward the tough guys, the bad guys,  to 
the angry, raw, energy side of testosterone,   maybe from the old 
hunter-gatherer days,  "...like an old memory...",  who knows?   Lake 
is attracted to such a degree that she would be unable to resist even 
if she wanted to.  (I can only compare this to the draw of a an 
safety pin to a very strong magnet,  but Deuce is drawn to Lake in 
apparently much the same way.)

And Lake turns out to be a True Believer in 'True Love.'   It seems 
that she's one of those many women (and men) who confuse excitement 
with love.    She  'falls' in looove.  (Where does she fall from - 
grace?  And where, later, does she fall to? - )


"And it might turn out, to Lake's own surprise, as much as anybody's, 
that she was one of these passionate young women who believed as the 
Mexican senoritas like to say that without love one cannot live.... 
unexpected laughter or finding religion, a gift from the beyond that 
she must not allow to just exit again and pretend it was gone 
forever."



**  Like many are told and some believe (for awhile anyway):   "Love 
will come along and change your life, honey;  you won't know what hit 
you."   Being 'in looove,' like being drunk,  is used as an  excuse 
for a  lot of misbehavior.  Passion is extraordinarily high in both 
Deuce and Lake.   Lake's been neglected and somewhat abused (not a 
thread to go into) as a child,  hungering for love and attention. 
Now,  with Webb really gone,  Lake is  really looking for some kind 
of big bad Daddy to protect her and defend her.  And she's looking 
for escape from the boring, grey world of her mother and the town. 
She's of an age to be wanting to mate and so on.  Deuce is the 
irresistible force drawing her.


"Unfortunately, 'it' had now arrived in the form of Deuce Kindred, 
for whom her loathing would come to be inseparable from her passion."

There's the two poles of love hate and the animal magnatism that 
(Because Deuce  knew what he'd done and she didn't - she could 
possibly  be excused but he couldn't.)

pg 263:



Lake to Deuce:  "'I'm not saying start goin to church.  Just think 
about who you hire on with.  Don't have to be any 'better' than that."

** And she tries to groom Deuce for respectability even if she's told 
by Oleander Prudge that Deuce did kill her father and .... -

pg 264:

"Thinking back, it would seem to Lake that everybody had been in on 
this from the minute the news reached town, with her and Mayva, poor 
geese, the last to know."

** The text also seems somewhat ambiguous at this point as to when 
Lake actually "knows," as in "believes."

** Lake is stubborn and defiant.  She either won't or can't back down 
on the decision to marry Deuce.   She apparently refuses to believe 
the rumors.   She's locked solid into denial - but somewhere, 
underneath,  she's questioning - (as we find out later).


page 265:
Mayva to Lake:   "Same as if you killed your father too.  Not one 
Goddamned bit of difference."  and warns her, "You'll reap what you 
sow."  And Lake still doesn't "know."

**  Lake and her mother argue about Deuce and her mother leaves town 
because she would be too ashamed to stay with her daughter marrying 
her own father's killer.

page 266:

** Lake,  rejecting her father and defying her mother,  marries Deuce 
in a prairie church wedding ...  This is not too much different from 
Kit, who  rejected the advice of his parents.

page 267:

"She was a virgin bride.  At the moment of surrendering, she found 
herself wishing only  to become the wind.  To feel herself refined o 
an edge, an invisible edge of unknown length, to enter the realm of 
air forever in motion over the broken land.  Child of the storm."

"... unexpectedly articulate ass."


** and it's pretty clear that they have not had sex,  at least since 
he proposed.  There is a lot of deliberate ambiguity about this. 
What is a virgin?  A virgin to what?   Imo, Lake may very well be, 
technically,  a virgin in the sexual sense,  and I actually suspect 
she is.    I suspect that she was very upset, although perhaps a bit 
disingenuously,  by Webb's accusations because although she was by no 
means a "good girl,"  from what is said about her later,  she's not 
been actually been deflowered.          (remember,  "I did not have 
sexual relations with that woman."? )


And then, within that week,  Deuce and Sloat go off on a road trip 
leaving Lake behind.  When they return, after more than another week, 
it's obvious they've been having an incredible amount of fun.

"They came in and sat there laughing, their eyes, dark from no sleep, 
drilling into her, not about to look elsewhere.  She didn't feel 
frightened so much as sick."

** I think this indicates a change in Lake.  She's been married to 
Deuce for  about a week.  They're running off together and she has 
suspicions she can't voice.

pg 268

** Now Deuce is sharing her with Sloat.  They put her in the shape of 
an X,   not a V  with three corners,  but an X  with 4.   (Two V's, 
with one upside down on top of the other,  make an X - whatever that 
would mean.)

** The text says,  "they kept her," and "they put a pair of hobbles 
on her,"  etc.  but she's willing.  At some level she desires Sloat, 
too.  (see pg 479)

"'Guess this makes me really bad,'  she said in a quick voice, 
looking up at Deuce."

** She thinks if she's "bad" she'll keep him.  He'll stay home.

**  But Sloat tells her she's bad because she married Deuce but 
Deuce laughs that off.   I think this is because  Lake still doesn't 
"know" that Deuce killed her father, although inside,   she's 
beginning to figure things out and has absolutely no idea how to 
handle it.    Deuce and Sloat are very, very touchy and Lake has to 
be very careful of what she says and how she says it.    There is no 
way to handle it.   This is shock city.  She probably really hates 
herself at this point,  self-revulsion and scared almost to death. 
(Not that I'm feeling particularly sorry for her but ... imagine her 
situation,  living with two murderers and married to the one who shot 
her father;  no  money, no skills,  nowhere to go.  Going numb 
emotionally because of the shock and fear, doing what she can to keep 
that at bay. )


pg 269
** Four Corners is just another quadrapoint in their travels.

  "Lake is keeping her eye on them "not about to let either of them 
ride off up the plateau any further than rifle range."

** They're all on edge,   Deuce mentions "getting away."

** getting away with what or from whom?

pg 270
"Sloat felt warning signs sure as a telegrapher getting word of a 
midnight's train bearing down on the depot, full of dynamiter's, with 
mischief in them."

Deuce is called to the mining office and  he and Sloat are getting 
worried about being found out by either the law or the owners who 
hired them.  They're also worried about each other and their fears 
are apparent to Lake who asks questions.   Deuce treats her like a 
dunce.   But they all know Deuce and Sloat are being hunted.

Deuce to Lake:    "Listen, I'm pretty sure whoever it is, it's the 
owners up here that they're working for."

"'But - ' She frowned.  She was trying to understand,  wanted to at 
least look like she was, but it was beginning to feel like being in a 
skip that had just slipped its cable,  heading for the center of the 
earth.  'Been doin somethin you shouldn't, Deuce?'"

** she's heading for the center of the earth - she's not there yet by 
a long shot.  It will take more than this to break through Lake's 
denial.


"'Maybe.  Nothin that wasn't done on their orders.'

"A loyal trooper. Why would they send somebody after you, then?"

He looked at her steadily, "Haven't you figured that out yet?" 
"Sometimes,": he finally said, "They don't like to leave even the 
chance open that somebody might, later on, well say somethin'."

Deuce continues to lie and deny but Lake is coming out of her denial 
but it's not an even process,  the awareness grows by jumps and 
starts,  by little "wake-up calls"  from which you try to return to 
sleep.

And then Sloat leaves and Lake and Deuce continue on although Deuce 
is plagued by dreams and ghosts.


*******************************************
Page 472 (in case you don't want SPOILERS - don't read this)

** Deuce and Lake travel,   going through Iowa (I guess) where they 
visit his family.

Page 473

"... as time passed, he had also found himself engaged in pursuit of 
her forgiveness."

"What he didn't quite see was how little it mattered to her by 
now.... She had allowed the immediacy of Webb's death - Webb's life - 
to pass like smoke into the steadily darkening air between them.... 
Lake in fact already knew, or suspected too much by now not to know. 
But it would have to be Deuce who turned all the cards up. "


Page 475

Lake to Deuce:
  "'Anybody ever cry for you, Duece?' Waited for him to shrug, then, 
"Well I hope you're not countin on much from me, I'm done 'th all my 
crying. Must've been that my Pa took the last of it, what d'you 
think? for my tears have all run and the drought has set in. Whatever 
happens to you,  guess I won't be crying.  That all right with you?"

"'Surprises me is all.  Tears and so forth, thought you and him 
didn't get along.'"

"'Did I tell you that?'"

"'Well no, not in so many words.'"

"'So you got no idea how I felt and come to that still feel about him.'"

** Deuce almost admits to it,  Lake almost pushes him there.

"'What are you trying to say,  Lake?'"

"'What are you trying not to?'"


page 476:
** Lake and Deuce end up in Missouri where he accidentally secures a 
job as a lawman.   Lake goes along with it.

page 478:
** They are notified that Sloat has been shot

"She knew she shouldn't but guessed she felt more happy than 
otherwise to hear the news."

Deuce to Lake:  "'You just keep bein faithful to that Anarchist 
shithouse you grew up in.'"

page 479:

** Lake has dreams of Sloat coming for her.  (I don't think Lake 
dreams of Webb.)


**  And then Lake bares it all to Tace,  the Sheriff's wife.  Lake 
dumps everything.

"'Pa's dead and gone and I haven't stopped hating him.  What kind of 
unnatural daughter's that make me?  A girl is supposed to love her 
father.'"

page 480:
**  Tace tries to comfort Lake and it is underscored that Webb never 
tried to "have his way" with his daughter.

** Tace proves to be a good friend to Lake,  comforting and uplifting her  -

page 481:

Tace to Lake:  "'Like all that you have to do is let go, let it bear 
you up and carry you, and everything's so clear because you're not 
fighting back anymore, the clouds of anger are out of your face, you 
see further and clearer than you ever though you could. '"

Tace confronts Lake:
"'Inspect your shoes, Mrs. Kindred, it's gettin deep around here.'"

"'He can change,  Tace.'"

"'And you're just the angel ' damn mercy's going to change him?'"

"'I know I can.'"

"'Sure.   Into what?'"

** And Lake slips back into denial or at least justification for him:

"'But supposing ... what he did ... was a kind of mistake, you know, 
just a mistake, Tace, didn't you ever make one of them?"

**  And now  her love will fix him:

"'You think he's so good," just a boy that's lost, that's it? And you 
can bring him back, all you need to do's love him enough,  love your 
enemy into some kind of redeemin grace for the both of you? 
Applesauce,  young lady.'"

page 483:

** Lake is trying to convince herself that yes,  although Deuce did 
it,  he was really not that guilty,  there were reasons,  accidents, 
etc.

But the physical attraction is still there for a man she now hates.

"And I can never leave him, she wrote in the little school copybook 
she  used for a diary, no matter what he does to me, I have to stay, 
it's part of the deal.  Can't run ... sometimes like I'm trying to 
wake up and can't ... and I already knew  didn't I,  long before we 
married,  who he was,   what it was he did, and yet I went ahead and 
married him.  I didn't know., but I knew ..."

"Some deal we made.  With the empty spaces always in between how I 
ought to be feeling and what I was really up to, it was sneaking away 
to Silverton all over again, and nobody saw it, they thought it was 
just grieving for Pa or trying to keep busy, they told me time would 
pass and I'd get back to daily life... but I think I'm dreaming and 
can't wake up."

  "Wish it could be Denver,  be a saloon girl - and she fantasizes 
about having many men. "

Page 485
And then they both know and they know the other knows and she starts 
gaining power over him in little ways because she doesn't care. 
Still,  she has to be careful because he's still dangerous and 
unpredictable.

page 485:

The Furies are no longer after them.

They want children and try everything but to no avail.

page 486:
because,  as Deuce says,  "we owe him."   "to cancel out a murder?"

page 487:
And instead of being "careful" she asks and he tells and there's a 
feud with thoughts of a gun but the reality of fry pans and tin 
shovels.   Deuce is hurt.

page 488

Tace:

"' You could make a case," she said after awhile, not at all 
reluctant but as if allowing herself a long-withheld treat,' That 
you are every bit as bad as your li'l wedded husband there.  That 
you've both been all along in some unholy cahoots, your own job being 
to do what you have to do to clean up after him and see he gets and 
stays clear of anybody's payback, including your own brothers.'"