Groaners

[Henry]

Is there a word for multi-word puns?  Does anyone know of a list of Pynchon
groaners?  I guess my fave TRP groaner is the GR "For DeMille, young
fur-henchmen can't be rowing." 

Not TRP, but:

1) King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war
with the Hittites.  His last great possession was the Star of the  Euphrates
, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.
Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.  

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested.  "Don't you know
who I am?  I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you
are."

(2)  Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were  avid
bowlers.  However, all the Swiss league records were unfortunately destroyed
in a fire, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. 

(3) A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor!  I  think
I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle  down.  You'll just have to be a
little patient." 

(4) A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered  dolphins
that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls.  One
day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more.
On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road.  Afraid to wake
them, he gingerly stepped over them.  Immediately, he  was arrested and
charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions  for immortal porpoises.


(5) Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted  to
produce other products and, since they already made the cases for  watches,
they used them to produce compasses.  The new compasses were so bad that
people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California .  This, of
course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

(6) A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the  toilets
and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have
absolutely nothing to  go on." 

(7) An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the  medicine man.
After a brief examination, the medicine man took out  a long, thin strip of
elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling  him to bite off, chew, and
swallow one inch of the leather every day.

After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was  feeling.
The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers
on." 

(8) A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found  his name
missing from the town register.  His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely  saying, "I must have taken
Leif off my census."

(9) There were three Indian squaws.  One slept on a deer skin, one  slept on
an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin.  All three became
pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. 
The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes  to
prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of  the squaws
of the other two hides.  

(10) A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk  remedies
with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the  leaves of a
particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. 

When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the
eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas.

Henry Mu
http://www.urdomain.us/kcuf.htm