Five Things Thomas Pynchon Will Never Say

[Dave Monroe]

Monday, March 3, 2008
Five Things Thomas Pynchon Will Never Say
Daniel McArdle


1. "Thanks, Oprah. Great to be back."

2. "I suppose they are needlessly complex, now that you mention it."

3. "So one day Salinger and I were looking for some cheap publicity…"

4. "No harm done—I'm a bit of a shutterbug myself. Please feel free to
click away!"

5. "Forgive the interruption, but perhaps I may be of service."
(Pynchon then doffs his rakish musketeer hat in a gallant,
floor-sweeping bow.) "I am none other than Thomas Ruggles Pynchon,
noted author and critic."

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