How to get an author blurb (part 2 of 4).

[Dave Monroe]

Dear Mr. Pynchon,

Would it be ungainly of me to say that you are my favorite writer?

I am writing to ask if you might be interested in reading (and
possibly blurbing) my book, Numb. It will be published by
HarperPerennial in August 2010. Numb is the story of an amnesiac who
can't feel pain, his accidental rise to fame, and his pursuit of his
past.

I'm sure you know the value to a debut author of a kind word attached
to a well-known name. If you were to extend such a courtesy I would be
forever in your debt. Few authors are as well-known as yourself, and
fewer still have the fanatic fan base which you inspire. However, this
brings me to a topic I hope you don't mind me raising. I am concerned
that you are over-exposed. This stems from two sources: the breakneck
pace of your publishing history and your constant presence in the
media limelight.

First, I don't know if you are aware of it, but you barely let one
loaf cool before you pull the next from the oven. Inherent Vice
trampled on Against the Day's heels which trod upon Mason & Dixon
which tribbled Vineland which thraggstoned Gravity's Rainbow that
truglaugged The Crying of Lot 49 what slugwormed V. All this in only
forty-seven years. Mr. Pynchon, please slow down. We need to catch our
breath.

Second, have you heard the one about the narcissist's parrot? Its cage
was a fucking mess, and it was half-starved to death, but it still
wouldn't stop talking about itself. My point is: let someone else get
a word in, will ya? You're an amazing talent, and you've written more
about, well, everything, than most authors could do in ten lifetimes,
but do you have to do so many interviews? Do you really need even more
face time on Leno? Wasn't dating Oprah enough, did you have to sit in
the audience every day for six months just to wave copies of your
books at the camera like that? Thomas, enough.

Please let me know if you would like me to send you a copy of Numb,
and thank you so much for your time.

Best,
Sean Ferrell
PS. Please stop calling me.

http://www.byseanferrell.com/2010/07/how_to_get_an_author_blurb_par_1.html