Re: Bad Sex in Fiction Award Won by Huston Novel ‘Infrared’

[Johnny Marr]

And the runners up (there can be no losers in this awards ceremony)
*
The Quiddity of Will Self - Sam Mills*

oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, Will, oh, yes, oh, semen-bedizened
blood-pusillanimous bed onanistic quiddity fulcrating pelvic thrusts smoke
thick typewriter’s click-clack-click Will Our Cock is Spent screaming
loving Will is pleased Will is Saved I have done it I have done I am the
Chosen One I am his Chosen One oh Will for ever I am yours for ever I am
yours for ever I am
*
Noughties - Ben Masters*

We got up from the chair and she led me to her elfin grot, getting amongst
the pillows and cool sheets. We trawled each other’s bodies for every inch
of history. I dug after what I had always imagined and came up with even
more
*
Back to Blood - Tom Wolfe*

But then the tips of her breasts became erect on their own, and the flood
in her loins washed morals, despair, and all other abstract assessments
away in a cloud of some sort of divine cologne of his. Now his big
generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and
she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s
own lips and maw
*
Rare Earth - Paul Mason*

He switched to some ancient steppe language as he ejaculated, blubbering
and incoherent. Chun-li faked an orgasm, keeping her mind focused on an
eighth-century lyric of sadness, and her face still as a lake in winter.
Khünbish collapsed below the neck of the horse, where he clung now, like a
forlorn circus rider, as the steppe cacophony segued seamlessly into the
kind of trickling-stream-plus-birdsong music they play in mental hospitals
to calm things down

*The Yips - Nicola Barker

*He knows her body now, even tightly sheathed and slippery as it is; a
ripe, red plum, its yellow flesh pressing out against the smooth arc of its
cool, fragrant skin. He understands the basic groundwork, has visited the
orchard like a hungry finch, has gorged on the fruit and rejected the pips,
has explored the geography

*The Adventuress: The Irresistible Rise of Miss Cath Fox - Nicholas
Coleridge

*In seconds, the duke had lowered his trousers and boxers and positioned
himself across a leather steamer trunk, emblazoned with the royal arms of
Hohenzollern Castle. ‘Give me no quarter,’ he commanded. ‘Lay it on with
all your might.’ Cath did as she was told, swishing the twigs hard onto the
royal bottom

*The Divine Comedy - Craig Raine

*And he came. Like a wubbering springboard. His ejaculate jumped the length
of her arm. Eight diminishing gouts. The first too high for her to lick.
Right on the shoulder.




Kudos to Masters for inserting a Keats reference.
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