PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR AUGUST 23

[David Casseres]

My dad took me to Pompeii when I was a lad. He bribed the guide to take us
to the ruins of the whorehouse, where there were crude (by Internet
standards, anyway) pornographic frescoes. The best one showed Roman gents
doing a New Year's Day ritual: weighing their dicks on a scale, to see
who'd have the best luck in the coming year.

Classical.

On Mon, Aug 24, 2015 at 9:29 AM, Mark Thibodeau <jerkyleboeuf at gmail.com>
wrote:

> On this day in the year 79 AD, the European continent's only active
> volcano, Vesuvius, blows its top. Thousands die, asphyxiated by clouds of
> hot, poison gas, and the vibrant Roman cities of Pompeii and, less
> famously, Herculaneum, are buried under a thick layer of steaming mud and
> ash. The dead cities lay undisturbed and preserved for millennia until, in
> the eighteenth century, archaeological excavations began. They continue to
> this very day. Priceless art treasures and great, formative works of
> philosophy, literature and science were discovered, fueling the
> Enlightenment. Today, Vesuvius is still active, and scientists claim it's
> only a matter of time before she pops off again. Nearly a million people
> live in her "kill zone." Who knows? Maybe in another two thousand years
> they'll be digging up empty Brio bottles and copies of L'Espresso magazine
> and marveling at the wonder of it all.
> ***
>
> On this day in 1305, Sir William Wallace - better known today as
> Braveheart - is executed for high treason at Smithfield in London.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1572, the Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre takes place in
> France when King Charles IX - acting on the wishes of his mother, Catherine
> de Medici - orders the assassination of French Protestant leaders, known
> asHugenots, who were attending the marriage of their leader, Navarre, to
> the King's sister, in Paris. Once word got out the the King's men were
> killing Protestant leaders, Frenchmen across the nation went bonkers,
> massacring any Protestant they could get their hands on. Despite a royal
> proclamation to cease and desist, the killings went on into October, by
> which time nearly seventy thousand French Protestants had been slaughtered.
> Meanwhile, up in heaven, Jesus and God looked at each other and shook their
> heads in utter disbelief.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1784, Western North Carolina (now eastern Tennessee)
> declares itself an independent state under the name of Franklin; it is not
> accepted into the United States, and only lasts for four years.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1863, a Confederate-sympathizing, slavery-supporting
> reprobate by the name of William C. Quantrillleads 450 guerrila-style
> "raiders" in a violent attack on the city of Lawrence, Kansas. The
> rampaging army - which included the infamous James and Younger crime gangs
> - burned down most major buildings in the city, and killed over 200 men and
> boys.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1927, Italian Anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti are executed
> after a lengthy, controversial trial.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1939, Germany and the Soviet Union sign a non-aggression
> treaty, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. In a secret addition to the pact, the
> Baltic states, Finland, Romania, and Poland are divided between the two
> nations. Meanwhile, three years later to the day, on this day in 1942, the
> Battle of Stalingrad begins after Hitler stupidly chooses to invade the
> USSR.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1966, Lunar Orbiter 1 takes the first photograph of Earth
> from orbit around the Moon.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1968, drummer Ringo Starr quits The Beatles over a minor
> disagreement. He soon comes to the terrifying realization that he's RINGO
> STARR, for fuck's sake, and promptly returns, tail tucked tightly between
> his legs, acting as though nothing had happened. Taking pity on him, John
> Lennon, Paul McCartney and George Harrisonlet it slide.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1973 a bank robbery gone wrong in Stockholm, Sweden, turns
> into a hostage crisis; over the next five days the hostages begin to
> sympathize with their captors, leading to the term "Stockholm syndrome".
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1990, a computer genius named Tim Berners-Lee opens the WWW
> - World Wide Web to new users.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1990, Armenia declares its independence from the Soviet
> Union.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1993, the Galileo spacecraft discovers a moon, later named
> Dactyl, around 243 Ida, the first known asteroid moon.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in 1996, Saudi-born terrorist Osama bin Laden issues message
> entitled "A declaration of war against the Americans occupying the land of
> the two holy places." At the time, Republicans scoff at President Clinton's
> attempts to take this threat seriously.
>
> ***
>
> Five years ago on this day, yours truly predicted that on this day in the
> year 2013, the alphabet would go the way of the Morse Code, as all human
> beings who manage to survive the devastating "Common Cold Plague" have
> their brains implanted with tiny microchips that allow all twelve of them
> to be in constant telepathic communication with each other, using Bluetooth
> technology. Too bad it didn't come to pass.
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://waste.org/pipermail/pynchon-l/attachments/20150824/c1dc6bc7/attachment.html>