I just got an email from "Heidi" titled "Worried sick"...

[Mark Kohut]

Giving this a " literary" rhetorical once-over would be some fun.....
Meanwhile, I bet she raises it. 

Sent from my iPad

> On Dec 31, 2015, at 11:29 AM, Mark Thibodeau <jerkyleboeuf at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> ...and it turns out to be an email from the Ted Cruz campaign,
> ostensibly penned by Ted's wife, Heidi, shakin' that beggin' cup one
> last time in 2015. Seems they have to raise over a quarter million
> dollars before midnight tonight, or God is going to call Ted home.
> 
> No, wait... that was some other guy, back in the 80's! At least there
> isn't a 900 foot Jesus in this pitch. But there IS something else...
> something interesting.
> 
> It seems that the good ship Cruz is going to be hitting some choppy
> waters in the days ahead. Check out the text of Heidi's appeal and
> then maybe we can play "guess the upcoming scandal" amongst ourselves,
> afterwards.
> 
> Here is the text:
> 
> 
> Friend,
> 
> Ted needs your help.
> 
> Ted is under an all-out assault on his campaign, his values, and even
> him personally. Attacks are coming from all sides -- Republican and
> Democrat -- and of course the liberal media.
> 
> Ted won't tell you this but I will -- please stop what you are doing
> and read below.
> 
> Here is the situation, and it worries me:
> 
>  1) We just received inside information that Iowa Super PACs --
> funded by Republicans -- are planning to spend millions attacking
> Ted's policy and character.
> 
>  2) Hillary is personally attacking Ted's strong stand for American
> families. She openly speaks of her distain for Ted's values and is
> attacking him in front of millions online.
> 
>  3) The media is getting personal. The Washington Post published a
> despicable attack on my children. Both Ted and I are determined to
> protect our children from their shameless attacks.
> 
>  4) We now have only 18 hours left before the media starts their full
> scale "exploration" into our campaign finances. Thumbing through
> thousands of financial papers to find any weakness and mislead
> Americans.
> 
> Friend, I don’t know any other man who is prepared to fight these
> political assaults, stand up to the personal attacks, and still
> provide a positive vision for America.
> 
> I admit I'm biased, but Ted is the man we need to restore America.
> 
> One more thing: every dollar, every prayer and word of encouragement
> means the world to Ted and me.
> 
> Today is the final day of 2015, and Ted could sure use your support
> right now more than ever.
> 
> Click Here: 2015 STOP-GAP DONATION >>>
> 
> You see, he's confided in me that he must raise another $349,394
> dollars beforemidnight tonight -- less than 18 hours from now.
> 
> That is a big shortfall.
> 
> I know there is no way you -- or any one person -- can cover that
> entire balance, but if you could just make one last 2015 Stop-Gap
> donation, both Ted and I would be in your debt.
> 
> If we close the books and Ted is still short, it could mean the
> difference between winning and losing this campaign.
> 
> Click Here: 2015 STOP-GAP DONATION >>>
> 
> I know it's a lot to ask, but can Ted and I count on you one last time in 2015?
> 
> Warmly,
> Heidi Cruz
> -
> Pynchon-l / http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l
-
Pynchon-l / http://www.waste.org/mail/?list=pynchon-l