Paracultural Calendar Jan 12

[Mark Thibodeau]

The influential television variety show *Arthur Godfrey & His Friends*
premieres
on CBS on this day in *1949*, but it was all a lie. Arthur Godfrey had no
friends.

***

On this day in *1959*, the *Caves of Nerja* are rediscovered in Spain.

***

On this day in *1961*, the United Nations "genocide pact" goes into effect,
and we all lived happily ever after.

***

On this day in *1967*, *Dr. James Bedford* becomes the first person to be
cryonically preserved with intent of future resuscitation. Brrr!

***

On this day in *1971*, for the first time ever, the sound of a flushing
toilet is broadcast over television airwaves. It was during the first
episode of CBS's *All in the Family*. *Archie Bunker*, of course, was the
one taking a dump.

***

On this day in *1991*, an act of the U.S. Congress authorizes the use of
military force to drive Iraq out of Kuwait.

***

On this day in *1994*, the daughter of *Malcolm X* is arrested for plotting
to murder Nation of Islam leader *Louis Farrakhan*. Police actually found
out about the plot a week earlier, but it took them a while to decide
whether to arrest her or assist her.

***

On this day in *1995*, gridiron legend *OJ Simpson*'s murder trial gets
under way in Los Angeles. Idiocy ensues.

***

On this day in *1997*, figure skater *Oksana Baiul* knocks back a few
drinks and decides to see if she can't replicate some of her more
complicated skating moves on the icy streets of New York… with her car.
Turns out she can't!

***

On this day in *1998*, 19 European nations agree to forbid human cloning.

***

On this day in *2005*, the "Deep Impact" asteroid probe is launched from
Cape Canaveral on a Delta II rocket. On July 4, the probe's "impactor"
successfully collides with comet 9P, aka *Tempel 1
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9P/Tempel>*.

***

On this day in *2006*, a stampede during the "Stoning of the Devil" ritual
on the last day at the Hajj in Mina, Saudi Arabia, kills at least 362
Muslim pilgrims.

***

On this day in *2010*, an earthquake occurs in Haiti, killing an estimated
316,000 people - that's *THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN THOUSAND GODDAMN FUCKING
PEOPLE WIPED OUT *- and destroying the majority of the capital city of
Port-au-Prince. It is the biggest loss of life due to a natural calamity to
occur in living memory, edging out 2004's Indian Ocean Tsunami by roughly
eighty thousand souls. Or was it? Some people are now claiming the numbers
have been greatly inflated - pretty much *doubled
<http://www.cjr.org/behind_the_news/one_year_later_haitian_earthqu.php?page=all>*,
in fact - in order to make sure that foreign aid money didn't dry up. As if
158,000 deaths was something to sneeze at.
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