Paracultural Calendar for July 11

[Mark Thibodeau]

 <http://thehonestlyblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/the-duel.jpg>

On this day in *1804*, after decades of getting up each other's asses and
for reasons far too complicated to get into here, Founding Father *Alexander
Hamilton* and then-Vice-President *Aaron Burr* meet at the Weehawken, New
Jersey dueling grounds at the crack of dawn to settle their differences at
the end of a pair of pistols. What happened next depends entirely upon
which eye-witness you choose to believe. Either Hamilton, in a poorly-timed
attempt to prove himself a gentleman, fired into the air only to be shot
square in the gut by Burr immediately afterwards, or else he simply took
his shot and missed, leaving Burr to offer up a more accurate and deadly
rebuttal. Whichever scenario is closest to the truth, the end results
remain the same: Alexander Hamilton - the genius confidante of *George
Washington*, the man who designed America's economic framework - was dead,
and Aaron Burr's reputation as a vicious, villainous brute was firmly
established. Now *persona non grata*, Burr and some foreign belligerents
began formulating a plan to conquer Mexico - which, at the time, covered
much of the South and Southwest - in order to set up a separate,
independent, competing state. After being acquitted of treason, Burr kicked
around Europe for a while, leaving a trail of angry creditors wherever he
went. He eventually returned to the United States and lived long enough to
witness the Texas Revolution, about which he mused: "What was treason in me
thirty years ago, is patriotism now." Then he died.

***

On this day in *1889*, the Mexican city of Tijuana is born. Three days
later, the place is declared a poverty-stricken tourist trap with an
unwholesome fixation on the donkey, Mexico's national beast of burden.

***

On this day in *1895*, the *Lumière* brothers demonstrate film technology
to scientists.

***

On this day in *1921*, Mongolia gains its independence from China.
Considering the serious developmental difficulties that come with that
extra chromosome of theirs, you have to admit that's pretty impressive.

***

On this day in *1921*, former U.S. President *William Howard Taft* is sworn
in as 10th Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, becoming the only person
to ever be both President and Chief Justice.

***

On this day in *1955*, Congress authorizes all American currency to be
printed with the motto: "In God We Trust." Unfortunately, they left off the
funnier half: "All others pay cash." But seriously, it behooves us to
recall that these four words were added to American money - along with the
words "Under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance - at the behest of the Roman
Catholic *Knights of Columbus* fraternal order. Not in *1776*. Not in *1855*.
Not even in *1900*... but in *1955*. Ten years after the end of World War
II. The year President *Eisenhower* sent the first American troops to
Vietnam. The year of the first *McDonald's* restaurant, and *Bill
Haley*'s *Rock
Around the Clock*. In other words, it was a knee-jerk addition based on a
passing fad, and the time has come to drop it.

***

On this day in *1979*, the space station *Skylab* returns to Earth… the
hard way.

***

The government of the United States awards the *Reverend Dr. Martin Luther
King, Jr*. the *Presidential Medal of Freedom* on this day in *1977*,
roughly nine years after awarding him the *Troublemaker's Bullet of
Shut-the-Fuck-Up* in Memphis, Tennessee. And that's a fact, Jack.
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