Paracultural Calender May 1

[Mark Thibodeau]

The first day in the month of *May* is celebrated as *May Day* – also known
as *International Workers’ Day* – almost everywhere in the world, with the
most glaring exception being the nation whose citizens’ blood fertilized
the soil of its inception: the United States of America.

First suggested at the first congress of the world socialist Second
International in 1889, May Day was meant to commemorate Chicago’s
infamous *Haymarket
Massacre*
<http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/anarchist_archives/haymarket/haymarket.html> of
three years prior, in which dozens of labor demonstrators were gunned down
by police after one of them allegedly threw a dynamite bomb.

The holiday was formally recognized as an annual event at the
International's second congress in *1891*. Three years later, following a
particularly nasty Wall Street panic, the *May Day Riots*
<http://ech.case.edu/ech-cgi/article.pl?id=MDR> took place in Cleveland,
OH. Ten years later, in *1904*, the International Socialist Conference
meeting in Amsterdam called on "all Social Democratic Party organizations
and trade unions of all countries to demonstrate energetically on May First
for the legal establishment of the 8-hour day, for the class demands of the
proletariat, and for universal peace."

Considering its origins and history, it shouldn't be too surprising that *The
Powers That Be* have never had much love for May Day. Right-wing
governments, invariably favoring Capital over Labor, have historically
downplayed the holiday’s significance, often celebrating “Labour/Labor Day”
on another day – for instance, as in the USA and Canada, on the first
Monday of September.

Unfortunately, simply shifting the holiday to a different spot on the
calendar left folks with nothing to celebrate on the first day of May. The
solution? How about the one-two punch of *Law Day*
<http://neweconomicperspectives.org/2012/04/may-day-the-real-meaning.html>
 and *Loyalty Day*
<http://neweconomicperspectives.org/2012/04/may-day-the-real-meaning.html>?
Yes, that’s right, in the late 50’s, Republican President *Dwight “Ike”
Eisenhower* and his Republican-led Congress created these two (count’em!)
brand spanking new holidays to take people’s minds off the central role
labor has played in human progress over the years!

Of course, the above covers the “Red Root” (Labor) version of May Day.
There exists another, “Green Root” (Pagan) version of the holiday, related
to the sex-heavy Celtic festival of *Beltane*
<http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/paganism/holydays/beltane_1.shtml> and
the somewhat less sexy Germanic festival of *Walpurgis Night* (which is
named after a Saint, after all). Some of the more hard-core versions of
this European celebration were done away with after Christianization, but
surviving traditions usually involve dancing around a*Maypole* –
representative of either a *Sacred Tree* or a giant phallus, depending on
who you ask – and other fertility-related activities, such as presenting
gifts of flowers to loved ones. Beltane, specifically, involves ritual
purification through fire, and if you've seen the *The Wicker Man* (1973),
you already know how much fun that can be.

<http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bjz8dr5OWFw/T6C3-j9-ENI/AAAAAAAAAp0/FftnPNjuEw4/s1600/National-Park-Seminary-May-Day-1907.jpg>

*ALSO ON THIS DAY*

On this day in *1776*, a Jesuit-trained Bavarian philosopher by the
name of *Adam
Weishaupt* adopts the name*Spartacus* and establishes a secret society
which he dubs the *Order of Perfectibilists*, more popularly known as the
*Illuminati*. Both Weishaupt and his long-defunct organization remain as
poorly understood today as they were by their contemporaries, a point
underscored by the fact that *Thomas Jefferson* counted himself an
unabashed admirer.

*****

On this day in *1863*, the Confederate Congress passes a resolution
declaring no Black Union soldiers may be taken prisoner. Instead, all Black
soldiers are to be *shot on sight*. And yet, some people still try to make
believe the *Civil War*was about "state's rights," and had nothing to do
with the institution of slavery. Go figure!

*****

On this day in *1915*, the *RMS Lusitania* departs from New York City for
her 222nd – and final – crossing of the Atlantic. Six days later, a torpedo
launched from a German submarine would sink her off the coast of Ireland,
killing twelve hundred. 128 of the dead were Americans, which caused an
about-face in the US population’s doggedly non-interventionist stance
vis-à-vis the *Great War*. Within months, Americans would be dying in their
thousands in the hideous, Satanic meat-grinder of trench warfare,
ostensibly to avenge the deaths of those unlucky dozens.

<http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--bP0vzBk6Cw/T6C4K66Ln7I/AAAAAAAAAp8/HoThP5s_pkg/s1600/b213622392.jpg>


*****

On this day in *1930*, the Solar System’s ninth planet is saddled with the
decidedly Hellish name *Pluto*, borrowed from the Greek Lord of the
Underworld. Upon their discoveries, Pluto’s moons would be given the
similarly Stygian monikers*Charon*, *Nix* and *Hydra*. Who makes these
decisions?!


*****

On this day in *1945* a German newsreader announces that *Adolf Hitler* has
"fallen at his command post in the Reich Chancellery fighting to the last
breath against Bolshevism and for Germany.”


*****

On this day in *1948*, The "Democratic People's Republic of Korea" – a.k.a.
North Korea – is established by “Great Leader” *Kim Il-sung*. Folks, you
couldn't pack more irony into a single sentence if you tried. Today, 75
years and two generations of despotism later, North Korea retains its title
as quite possibly the single most fucked up nation on a planet that is
known for being home to some incredibly fucked up nations.


*****

On this day in *1956*, the polio vaccine developed by *Jonas Salk* is made
available to the public. And we all lived*happily ever after*
<http://thedailybell.com/3687/VIDEO-Vaccines-Didnt-Cure-Polio-After-All>.


*****

On this day in *1960*, a Lockheed U-2 spy-plane being piloted by
American *Francis
Gary Powers* is shot down over the Soviet Union. Powers survives by
ejecting, and his U-2 glides to a soft crash-landing that leaves it
frustratingly intact, allowing the Soviets to learn everything about the
plane's structure and abilities when they pick it apart. Powers is
interrogated for months, then forced to confess to espionage. He was
sentenced to 10 years hard labor at a Soviet work camp, but ended up
serving less than 8 months before being sent back to the USA in a spy-swap.
After a different kind of rough landing back home (he was interrogated by
hostile officials from the *CIA*, *Pentagon*, a few Senate committees and
even Lockheed!), Powers continued his aviation career until 1977, when he
died while heroically ditching his helicopter rather than risk a
crash-landing in a field where children were playing..


*****

On this day, in *1986*, Russia finally tells the rest of the world about
the nuclear accident at *Chernobyl*… five days after what was at that time
the worst meltdown in the history of nuclear power. Much to the delight of
the Ukrainian Tourism Bureau, “Fukushima” is poised to replace “Chernobyl”
as short-hand for “FUBAR Nuclear No-Go-Zone”.


*****

And, finally, on this day in *2003*, Americans celebrate "Mission
Accomplished Day" when *Preznit Dubya* appears before a cheering crowd of
soldiers on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln in full padded-crotch
regalia to declare that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended.”
Sadly, nothing could have been further from the truth.

<http://manwiththemuckrake.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/bush-mission-accomplished.jpg>
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