PARACULTURAL CALENDAR FOR MAY 2

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1536*, England's *Queen Anne Boleyn* - consort to *King
Henry VIII* (who destroyed the Catholic Church in England just to be with
her), and mother of the woman who would go on to become the hugely
influential *Queen Elizabeth I* (last of England's *Tudor* royals) - is
arrested and imprisoned in the Tower of London on charges of adultery,
incest, treason and witchcraft. She would be found guilty of all charges
and beheaded 19 days later. Ah... fickle fate!

*****

On this day in *1670*, *King Charles II* of England grants a permanent
charter to the *Hudson's Bay Company* to open up the fur trade in North
America. That's right... a *permanent charter*. In fact, there's a whole
whack of *information*
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hudson%27s_Bay_Company>about
Hudson's Bay Co. that seems ripe for parapolitical exploration.
<http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lV82bqN57J0/T6IOHNgO1LI/AAAAAAAAAqo/7VYM68VInIM/s1600/500px-HBC_Logo.svg.jpg>

*****

On this day in *1808*, the people of Madrid rise up in rebellion against
French occupation, prompting *Goya* to memorialize the event in his
painting *The Second of May 1808*.


<http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-opINNtWhzhg/T6FkVyzudpI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/cR_0g6EU0SY/s1600/2ndmay1808.jpg>

*****
On this day in *1816*, German/Belgian royal *Léopold de Saxe-Coburg*
 marries *Princess Charlotte Augusta* of Wales, thus initiating the
"royal" *Saxe-Coburg
Gotha* bloodline - name-changed to *Windsor* in England around the time of
the*Great War*, due to anti-German sentiment - that has ruled much of the
"free" world over the last century-and-a-half.

*****

On this day in *1933*, *Adolf Hitler* bans trade unions in Germany.

*****

On this day, not one but two ultra-right-wing American lunatics kick the
bucket. In *1957*, Senator *Joe McCarthy*, of *Red Scare II*
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_scare> infamy, dies of multiple health
problems exacerbated by alcohol and general mean spiritedness. In *1972*, *J.
Edgar Hoover* - whose abuses of power make Joe McCarthy's seem almost
adorable by comparison - dies when his own shriveled black heart finally
realizes exactly the type of vile creature its beats had helped to sustain
over the years before giving up in disgust. Oh, and by the way, contrary to
popular legend, from *Little Rock*
<http://www.kooriweb.org/foley/essays/essay_14.html> to *organized crime*
<http://www.topix.com/forum/city/orlando-fl/TGH5084KACOF2H0QL>, he also
pretty much sucked at his job.

*****

On this day in *1998*, the *European Central Bank* is founded in Brussels
in order to define and execute the European Union's monetary policy. So
far, it seems to be working out just fine.

*****

On this day in *2000*, President *Bill Clinton* announces that
super-accurate GPS technology would no longer be restricted to the United
States military, paving the way for some very interesting and useful
consumer technology... as well as the allowing for the propagation of a
technology that will eventually facilitate the more perfect tracking of
pretty much every single citizen in our rapidly evolving Surveillance State.

*****

<http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fU9H3uP1VdI/T6FyNkRS5lI/AAAAAAAAAqc/iIF3NOtvHzM/s1600/situation_room.jpeg>

And, finally, on this day in *2011*, Americans celebrate *Mission
Accomplished Day – Part II* when President *Barack Obama* announces that *Osama
bin Laden*, the evil genius mastermind behind the terrorist attacks of
September 11, 2001, had been found, then killed, in full-throttle
action-movie style by *SEAL Team Six*
<http://www.noquarterusa.net/blog/61019/ann-barnhadts-crazy-seal-team-six-conspiracy-theories/>
in
Abbottabad, Pakistan! Of course, he couldn't show us Osama's corpse,
because it was dumped at sea in an undisclosed location, in accordance with
some kind of Muslim religious doctrine that nobody's ever heard of before.
And of course, they couldn't show us any photographic evidence of his
death, because that would have been disrespectful to one of the worst
alleged mass-murderers in the history of mass-murder... right? I mean, it's
not like there's anything *fishy*
<http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/140347/20110502/osama-bin-laden-is-dead-and-buried-at-sea-true-or-conspiracy-theory.htm>
about
all this... right? Right?! By the way, there is *one* group that performs
burials at sea for "dishonored enemies"... *Freemasons
<http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/006/freemasons.htm>*! Trying to find a
link to back this up, but all Google can find is a song called "Burial at
Sea" by some shitty band called *The Secret Lives of Freemasons*.
Interesting how that works out, idnit?
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