Minstral Island, Scene 2

[Pirate Prentice]

This is it guys. Only these two scenes were written out in full.
There's notes that sketch out the later chapters (although not the
end), which i'll post soon, too-- apparently Pynchon wrote the story
and Sale most of the songs.

I am amazed to find seeds of so many later Pynchon works in Minstral
Island-- Perhaps some day it'll get the edition it deserves, but for
now, this will have to do.

Roger in Mexico

-----------------------------

Setting as Kirk suggests.  HERO walks in.  Goes over to booth, picks
up baseball.  Hurls it at cat on left hand end of row of cats.  Right
hand cat falls over.  Hero scratches head.

HERO: Happens every time.  (Walks over, picks up teddy bear).  So I
win another one of these things.  (sits on counter of booth, holds
teddy bear out.)  I got a closetful of bears at home.  What am I gonna
do with you? (no answer) What's your name, bear? Hey (shakes bear). 
What?  Chumley?  My gawd.  Well (sets bear on counter beside him,
flings arm around bear's neck) Chumley.  I guess it is.  You're
English, huh?  I was in England for a while.  Nice girls you got over
there.  I don't know 'bout bears, though, maybe female bears aren't so
hot but you know, the human type females of which, mind you (he pokes
bear in chest) there aren't many left, they're ok. (Ponders.  Turns to
bear suddenly).  Hey Chumley, what do you know about broads.  Bears
must have woman trouble too.  (Looks into bear's face) Ha, ha.  Don't
try to suck me in with that innocent look, man.  I know guys like you.
 You're probably the biggest make-out bear in the British Isles.
(grins at bear and we get the feeling bear is grinning back) So look,
Chumley, I been worried. Since this afternoon, as a matter of fact. 
Just let me have your opinion on this: do you think maybe a girl, no
matter how much of her is surface—I mean, maybe she wears glasses and
has her hair in one those – things, whatever you call it.  Bun.
(Ponders) And wears these real nowhere type of clothes.  And still
(glares into bear's face, nose to nose) looks like a woman in spite of
them.  You think maybe down deep, in spite of all this stuff she
learns about the right way to have babies in a test tube and she
shouldn't have fun because she could use the time better working for
the good of society and all thatjazz, maybe there lurks an honest to
god woman. (again mute bit with the bear) I don't know, Chumley. 
Experience maybe has made you cynical.  Oh-oh.

Enter BROAD.  Bustling.  Beautiful in moonlight.  HERO sees her, she
doesn't spot him
for a couple minutes.  Sees him, jumps.

BROAD: There you are. (crosses over to him, stands at a safe distance,
arms folded)
Well?
HERO: (sighs) Hello, Broad.  Broad, this is Chumley.
BROAD: Who?  Where?  (see bear) How curious.  What is it?
HERO: That, wench, is a teddy bear.  What you didn't know what one
was, a couple
hours ago.
BROAD: Oh.  That's a teddy bear (both are sort of hesitant).  Well,
what did you want.
HERO: (real Jimmy Stewart.  Lot of stuttering. Scratches head.  Head,
not armpit.
Jimmy Stewart, i.e., not Jimmy Dean) I wanted, well to sort of ask you
to reconsider
locating—what's its name—MUFFET, that machine, on Camelot.  I mean, look you've
spent a lot of time, I guess, with so-called backward people and you
must know the kind
of things that motivates us.
BROAD: (by rote) Laziness.  Laziness and a fear, at time, a hatred of society.
HERO: Laziness, hell.  Look, you're supposed to be a scientist.  I
thought you people
looked at the facts, not what the powers that be tell you are the
facts.  I thought scientists and engineers were free people, people
who thought for themselves.  Time was we were both on the same side.
BROAD: Technology functions best in a social and political climate in
which there are
no disagreements.  This was established (consults machine) in the case
of CalTech vs. the AEC, back in '61.
HERO: (getting mad) You don't know what you're doing to us.  All we want is
someplace where every time we turn around we don't see that idiot damn
machine staring at us.  We're not hurting you people.  We don't start
revolutions, we don't preach any inflammatory doctrines.  All we try
to do is live our lives for ourselves, instead of having them lived
for us, like you people.  All we ask is to be left alone.  Maybe by
your
standards we're wrong but for crying out loud, we're harmless.
BROAD: (softened somewhat) I do understand, Mr. —?
HERO: Hero.  Just Hero.
BROAD: —Hero, but I can't do anything.  I'm acting on orders from
Poughkeepsie.  I
am a representative of the national administration, acting in
accordance with IBM
doctrine so conceived and so dedicated by the Master Computer.  I can
see your point.
I've encountered the same thing before, in so many backward areas.  But if you
understood how much we can do for you.  If you realized how wonderful
it is to be a
citizen of our expanding technology—
HERO: Crap.
BROAD: Well, really.
HERO: No, I'm sorry.  Look, Broad, like I say we're peaceful people. 
We're not going
to put up any armed resistance.  And we're not lazy so we won't use
passive resistance
either.  We found out a long time ago you can't fight City Hall.  But
look, just tell me,
Broad.  Did you ever look at a sunset? (Broad startled) Yeah, just an
old sunset.  Or
maybe listen to bullfrogs in the springtime in a dirty pond (closer)
Or run out when the
sun is shining just for the hell of it, just cause you want to, just
to test your lungs out?
(looks no) No, I guess you haven't.
BROAD: No, as a matter of fact—Hero, I do like your people, your way
of life, more
than any retrograde group I've ever come in contact with.  But what
can I do.  Of course, I know what a sunset is, but I don't do any of
those things.  I couldn't.  I have my work. I have so many more –
well, important things to do.  I happen to hold, in addition to my
federal post, the job of chief secretary to Johnny Bad Ass, Vice
President in charge of the NY area for IBM, you know, and the position
involves are great --- deal --- of — (trailsoff, HERO not impressed)
HERO: (laughs) Look at me.  Telling you how you should feel.  When all
the time this is
just what I've been against. (ponders, shit.  That word again)
BROAD: (consults machine) Don't fight City Hall, Hero.  Listen to
this: since 1968 your
artist colonies have been dwindling.  Extrapolating along the
pertinent demographic
curve, in three more years your numbers will be a distance of (delta)y
from the abcissa.
(HERO don't dig) There won't be any of you left at all.  Won't that be
wonderful?
HERO: Oh, oh yeah.  Sure.  That's – great.
BROAD: Furthermore, (consults) when this desirable state has been
achieved the IBM
state will have arrived at a millennium, an age of gold.  Institution,
constitution and
prosperity; peaceful coexistence, freedom with responsibility; no
revolutions.  Or even
demonstrations—
HERO: (knocks cards out of hand.  Savage).  Hey, Broad.  You know what love is?
BROAD: (fumbling, consults) Of course.  "Love is an archaic word referring to
libidinous and almost always sexual stimuli occurring in the
pre-civilized human.  Has no
meaning, value or application in present society."  There.
HERO: (clutches head) No.  No, no, no.  I don't believe it.  Hey. 
You.  Come here.
Look (makes her look at moon.  Song) Now look.  Here's something out of a pre-
civilized society.  A real interesting item to add to your historical
date.  This is what guys used to do way back when.  (He gives her
Chumley).  Here.  Take him.  His name's Chumley.  He's a bear.  He
understands women.  Damned if I do.  Go ahead, take him (she does,
reluctantly.  He kisses her.  She lets Chumley hang off one arm then
drops him, puts both arms around Hero's neck.  She is fascinated, but
love?  Maybe.  Hero goes off, Broad puzzled.  Consults machine.)