Paracultural Calendar for April 15

[Mark Thibodeau]

On this day in *1896*, the first *Olympic Games* of the Modern Era come to
a close in Athens, Greece, with a relatively simple closing ceremony.
First-place winners didn't win gold medals, but silver ones creepily
stamped with the big, staring face of Greek pagan deity *Zeus*.
Second-place winners got copper medals. Third-place got a handshake and a
signed, autographed picture of His Royal Majesty Lord *Jack Fucking Squat*.

*****

On this day in *1955*, milkshake-machine salesman *Ray Kroc* opens the
doors to his first franchise of a *McDonald's Brothers* restaurant in Des
Plaines, Illinois. The *McDonald's* restaurant chain dates its founding to
this day.

*****

On this day in *1989*, protesters begin gathering in *Tienanmen Square* in
the People's Republic of China to commemorate the death of the recently
ousted and publicly humiliated General Secretary *Hu Yaobang*, who was
relatively liberal and reform-minded by Chinese standards. The protests
would grow and intensify until June 4, at which point all Hell broke loose.

*****
And now for some birthday announcements:

On *April 15*, in *1452*, Renaissance painter, sculptor, engineer,
scientist, mathematician, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, inventor,
musician and all-around super-genius *Leonardo da Vinci* is born. Seventeen
years later, in the Punjab, *Nanak Dev* is born. He will go on to found the
Sikh religion and be its first Guru. The *dictionary* is born on this day
in *1755*, when *Samuel Johnson*'s *A Dictionary of the English Language* is
first published in London. The *General Electric Company* is founded on
this day in *1892*, and since corporations have the same rights as human
beings nowadays, I guess it's only fitting that this event be listed as a
birthday. In *1920*, psychiatrist and humanist *Thomas Szasz* is born. He
later emerges as one of the most eloquent voices speaking out against the
misuse and abuse of science, reason and medicine as a tool for social
control. The *road atlas* was born on this day on *1924*, when *Rand
McNally* publishes the first book of its kind. In *1942*, Bush Crime Family
crony *Kenny-Boy Lay* is born... Enron ensues. And, finally, on this day in
*1970*, exactly nine months after his parents consummate their wedding vows
while bathed in the flickering glow of a Niagara Falls motel room TV set
reporting the stupendous news that two human beings were actually walking
on the goddamn Moon... *yer old pal Jerky* is born.
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