ParaCultural Calendar for Jan 6, 2015

[Allan Balliett]

Wow! It's back!! -Allan in WV where we stay alert for stimulation

On Tue, Jan 6, 2015 at 5:41 PM, Mark Thibodeau <jerkyleboeuf at gmail.com>
wrote:

> On this day in *1492*, *Ferdinand and Isabella*, the Catholic Monarchs
> enter Granada, completing the Reconquista of Spain from the Moors (Muslims).
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1540*, *King Henry VIII* of England marries *Anne of
> Cleves*. A particularly annoying *Rick Wakeman tune* ensues.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1721*, the Committee of Inquiry on the *South Sea Bubble* publishes
> its findings.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1912*, German geophysicist *Alfred Wegener* first
> presents his theory of continental drift. Betcha didn't know that theory
> was so young, didja?
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1929*, *Mother Teresa* arrives in Calcutta, India, where
> she begins her long crusade of NOT bringing nourishing food, healing
> medicine, or any kind of real, actual, *measurable* relief to India's
> poorest and sickest people. In other words, this sacred cow did *less
> than nothing*.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1931*, *Thomas Edison* submits his final patent
> application. I think it was an auto-fellatio machine or something. In any
> case, it didn't catch on.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in the year *1941*, the 20th century's greatest president – *Franklin
> Delano Roosevelt*- said the following:
>
> "In the future days which we seek to make secure, we look forward to a
> world founded upon four essential human freedoms. The first is freedom of
> speech and expression - everywhere in the world. The second is freedom of
> every person to worship God in his own way everywhere in the world. The
> third is freedom from want, which, translated into world terms, means
> economic understandings that will secure to every nation a healthy
> peacetime life for its inhabitants - everywhere in the world. The fourth is
> freedom from fear, which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide
> reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that
> no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression
> against any neighbor - anywhere in the world. That is no vision of a
> distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable
> in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the very antithesis
> of the so-called New Order of tyranny that the dictators seek to create
> with the crash of a bomb."
>
>
> We've come a long way, baby.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1995*, a chemical fire in an apartment complex in Manila,
> Philippines, leads to the discovery of plans for *Project Bojinka*, a
> mass-terrorist attack.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *2009*, in response to continual bombardment of civilian
> population centers by Palestinian militants, Israel conducts an assault on
> Gaza. *Operation Cast Lead*. And they all lived happily ever after.
>
> ***
>
> On this day in *1994*, one of the most ridiculous scandals in modern
> history is sparked when a crowbar-wielding attacker strikes figure skater *Nancy
> Kerrigan* on the knee as she exits the ice after a day's practice.
> Unfortunately, the aftermath of the attack was caught on video, and images
> of Kerrigan sitting on the floor, hugging her wounded leg, howling "Why
> meee?! Why anyone?!?" virtually guaranteed that the media would milk this
> story dry. And when it turned out that the attacker was linked to *Tonya
> Harding* - Kerrigan's main rival for Olympic gold - all bets were off. It
> was just too perfect... Nancy the Ice Wasp versus White Trash Tonya.
>
> In the post-September 11th world, it's easy to forget that there was a
> year-long period when you literally couldn't escape the Kerrigan/Harding
> saga. Unless you were lucky enough to be in a coma at the time, all those
> stupid details are permanently seared into your brain. Remember Harding's
> sleaze-ball hubby, *Jeff Gillooly*? His tub-o-lard henchman, *Shawn
> Echkardt*? The vaudevillian amateur thugs, *Derrick Smith* and *Shane
> Stant*, who were paid six grand to "eliminate" Kerrigan from the Olympic
> picture? Their nearly instantaneous surrenders and confessions? Tonya's
> changing stories about her knowledge of and involvement with the plot? The
> Lillehammer Showdown? Harding's Achilles skate-lace-snap and the ensuing
> drama? Kerrigan's silver medal? Harding's 8th place humiliation? Of course
> you do.
>
> And who can forget *Gillooly's Revenge?* After Harding dropped him like a
> handful of fish guts, he sold their XXX-rated honeymoon videos to
> Penthouse, singlehandedly kick-starting America's now-insatiable appetite
> to watch famous people - who, unlike porn stars, were not famous for
> fucking - fuck.
>
> For her part, after hosting the fifth worst episode ever of *Saturday
> Night Live*, Nancy Kerrigan faded into obscurity. For Harding, leaving
> the limelight would not prove so easy. In 2000, she went on a drunken
> rampage, beating up her new boyfriend with a hubcap. She was also charged
> with DUI.
>
> In 2002, Harding redeemed herself somewhat by pummelling the shit out of
> that lying hosebag *Paula Jones* on Fox TV's *Celebrity Boxing*.
>
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